Shattered
by ForeverAcullen324
Summary: Bella has done the impossible. Promised to have a happy, normal, future by Jacob, Bella complies. At first glance, Bella is content, but as time unravles, she realizes that she has made the wrong choice. Can she get her love back?
1. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

He held me close by the fringe of the forest. His body hotter than ever before, I could feel the heat all the way to my soul. What I was about to do I would undoubtedly regret. I couldn't fathom it; I promised him forever, and now here I was, about to put every 'I love you' and 'forever' on the line.

"Jacob," I said, my voice was a mere whisper, "can you give me a minute, please?"

I hadn't told him what I was going to do, and for good reason. Edward gazed down at me through a layer of beautifully thick black lashes, love beaming out of his eyes. It was boring a hole in my face. Jacob stalked off into the woods, lost in the darkness.

God, Edward was beautiful. He stood lazily before me, the moon lighting the features of his perfectly sculpted face. I stepped closer to him, and automatically he embraced me.

"Isabella," he purred with delight, "We should go, it's getting late. Charlie will be worried."

I squirmed out of his grasp and backed away; he knew something was wrong. I looked up at his face and thought about the words that would slowly, but surely, destroy everything. A silent tear slid down my cheek, and then another.

"Oh Bella!" He shouted, his tone piercing the silence. "What's wrong?!"

_What's wrong? Well I'm about to take everything away, that's what. _

I stared at the ground, and took a long, sharp breath in and then as I let it out, I burst. He was at my side in a nanosecond; his light touch sent shivers down my spine, it only made me feel guiltier about my cupped my chin in his hand, so I had to look at him.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you tell me what's wrong this instant, and I shall make it better." His words were laced with a sharp edge of fear.

_Oh sorry you can't make it better, that's the problem_

I internally hissed at my inner self, she wasn't helping the situation. Actually, nothing would.

"Edward, I…" my voice trailed off, how do I say this?

His hand on my arm tightened, and I felt a pang of fear in the pit of my stomach. Will he be mad?

"Damn it Isabella, just tell me!" He placed a hand on each of my forearms and shook me slightly, I knew I was driving him crazy, but I just couldn't make the words come out.

"I-i…this is going to be hard," I couldn't look at him; I closed my eyes and prayed for the earth to open up and drag me under, to save me from this.

He didn't say a word, not sure if it was out of recognition of what I was about to say, or just shear patience.

"Remember, when you…." I went to the dark place in my mind "left me?" I forced the words out.

I could almost hear his silent heart shatter. I immediately wished I could take back the words. He didn't say anything, so I continued.

"Well, you were gone, and he……he was here." I didn't dare look at him.

He let go of my arms, and I shivered. I wondered if he understood.

For what felt like an eternity it was silent. I let the wind dry the tears flowing down my cheeks. Finally, he spoke.

"I told you I'd never forgive myself for that Isabella." His jaw clenched together tight, no doubt because of his impeccable power to remember things in detail.

"He picked up the pieces, and it had an effect on me. A greater one then I apparently realized before."

I peeked up at his face, not sure what to expect. It was a cocktail of anger, disbelief, and mock horror.

"I can't do this. I told you I was sorry. What else can I do Isabella? Shall I get down on one knee and beg for forgiveness? I'm not superman."

I laughed an ironic chuckle. Once, maybe 6 hours ago, that's exactly what I thought him as. I let my mind replay him in action, ripping into Victoria with such force, tearing her head right off her body.

"Edward, when he kissed me, I saw…our future."

I could see that the last word caught his attention.

"Oh, so you're Alice now?" He wasn't trying to be funny.

"I saw him, and me, our kids, our life. It all looked so…" I racked my brain for the right word,

"Perfect, great, excellent, delightful? Pick a damn adjective Isabella," I couldn't make my lips move.

When I didn't respond he got louder.  
"Well, go ahead. How about peachy, flawless, adept…"

I placed my hand on his arm; I didn't want him to freak out.

"Don't," he chided, moving out of my touch "just do what you came here to do and be done with it. I'm not a child."

_Well you sure are acting like one_

"You know I love you, but I just… he's uncomplicated, carefree…"

_All the things Edward is, Bella_

"Shhh!" I said out loud, trying to quiet the voice in my head. Edward looked at me like I was crazy. He might just be right about that.

"The choice is yours, Bella. You know that. And I knew this was a possibility, and so did he," Edward signaled his jaw into the direction of the woods. There, crouching behind a tree was Jacob.

_Hiding from a mind reader? Bella, maybe he isn't as bright as you think…._

I once more scowled at myself for thinking such thought. I knew who I wanted, and I was ready. Everything seemed to be going by agonizingly slow. Had time stopped? I wasn't entirely sure.

"Edward, you are everything I want and more, you always will be. But, he had an effect on me, and I cannot erase it."

Edward quizzically looked into my eyes, I felt like he could see into my mind, and I know that's what he was desperately wishing he could do.

"But, what about our future?"

I blinked back the new wave of tears I could feel pushing through.

_Yes, Bella. A future that involves and insanely gorgeous man who loves you more than anything._

"The wedding, our plans, it means nothing?"

Jeeze, what was I supposed to say to that?

"Well, I've always wanted kids," my voice sounded small, distant. I have never wanted kids, but I didn't know what to say.

He laughed, it was dark.

"So you're leaving me because you want _kids_? We could adopt Bella!" He started to walk in a straight line, pacing.

He wasn't making this any better. I needed to be done with this, rip it off like a band-aid.

"I love you, but, I just don't think I can do this. You left me, and he was there," I placed my hand on this stone chin "goodbye, Edward." The words slid out of my dry mouth, feeling like they weighed 100 pounds.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight; I could feel the burning of unshed tears. I leaned up on my tippy toes and placed a small chaste kiss on his icy cheek.

He didn't say a word as I backed away. I assessed the man I just broke in a million pieces. His head was hung low, his fingers twined through his copper hair, he looked like he was pulling it from the roots. I wasn't sure if he was going to say anything more. I turned my back, and made my way into the forest.

I heard a low whimper, and what sounded like a grim _goodbye. _

Oh, it was too much to handle. I just did something that I didn't believe was possible. Suddenly my tears could not be held in and they burst over the edge, spiraling me to the hard, soggy ground. I never wanted to open my eyes.

I felt a warm set of arms pick me up and cradle me, and somewhere, deep inside, I wished it wasn't Jacob.

"Bella," he crooned, his joy only made me cry harder "did you just do what I think you did?"

_Completely crush the soul of the man I loved most in this world? Why yes, I did._

I couldn't find the words to speak, I was bathed in confusion.

Jacob started to walk away, quickly I opened my eyes, looking in Edward's direction, he wasn't there.

"Bella, you did that all for me?"

Actually, I wasn't quite sure who I did that for. But then I looked up at Jacob. His dark, choppy hair gleaming, bleached white in the moonlight, his skin silky and warm, and suddenly I remembered by I did it.

"Yes Jacob," I said, snuggling my head into his arm, "all for you."

Before I could say anything else, his lips were at mine, probing down with a desperate need.

This was one of three kisses I have ever receive from Jacob Black, but it meant so much more than any I had ever had before. I placed my hands on either side of his strong face, pulling him closer to me. His warm body clung to me tighter, my head swam.

"Mmm, Bells," he moaned, my inner self pouted from ear to ear, she didn't like Jacob very much. But I did.

The kiss seemed to go on forever, and here, in his arms, I completely forgot what I had just done. Jacob chuckled slightly and then released his lips from mine, looking down his nose like a shy boy.

"Woah," we both said in unison. We looked up at each other and giggled like little kids who did something naughty. It was silent for a long time, just staring into each other's eyes.

"I think you should get me home now," I said, color flaming in my cheeks. I didn't want to go home, actually that was the exact opposite of what I wanted, and I wondered if he felt the same.

"I don't think Charlie minded if you were out a bit later, Bella," he touched my bottom lips with his thumb, like someone else used to…

"If you want to come back to my house, I'm sure Charlie would be ecstatic."

Oh, that's right. Charlie didn't like err, _him_, so much after last September. He had been praying for me to end up with Jake, no doubt about it. What did I want to do? If I went home I would most definitely think about tonight, and all of its consequences.

"Okay," I said shyly "let's go back to your place."

_To do what Miss I'm-the-only-virgin-in-High-School-Swan?_

I could feel my cheeks get hot with color, and Jacob smiled. Was he thinking about the same thing as me?

"Bella," he said after a moment, pulling me out of my embarrassing revere "so this is all real? You chose me over the bloodsucker?"

Oh yes, thank you for reminding me of that.

"Uhm, err, yeah," I hoped he couldn't feel the reluctance in my voice.

"I don't understand. Why the sudden change?" He looked so happy.

"Jacob, you know why." I didn't want to go into it in further detail for fear the tears might return.

"My kiss was that good." He didn't ask it as a question, he seemed to be beaming.

"I saw a future that I couldn't have with…..Edward," I forced his name out "it looked…well it looked like everything I wanted."

I saw Jacob blush under his deep russet skin; it was something I didn't see very often.

He placed a swift kiss into my hair, and his arms dropped me. I hadn't realized we were here. He held my hand and pulled me into his small, red house. It was warm, almost too hot. A small fire glowed in the stone fireplace, it was very romantic.

"Where's Billy?" I asked, hoping he couldn't see the double meaning to my words.

"He's at your house, I guess the Mariners are playing late."

"Oh," was all I manage to get out.

He led me into the small hallway, and pushed open the door to his bedroom, but he didn't go in. Everything got really quiet, and sort of awkward.

"So…." He looked at my face, trying to find hints if I was thinking the same as him, "what, err, do you want to do?"

_Find Edward and beg him to take me back_

I ignored my head, not wanting to decide if she was right or not.

Soft moonlight trailed in through the windows, I could see it on his face.

"Isabella, you look so beautiful in the moonlight," his compliment made me blush all over.

I didn't want to over think this moment, I knew it would be too embarrassing to review. How do I be sexy? Is it even possible?

_Klutzy Bella trying to be sexy? Yeah right. _

I was really hating my inner self tonight.

I put each of my hands on his shoulders and pushed him into his room, we collided onto his small bed. I saw his face light up like a kid with a $1000 in a toy shop. _Holy Crow! _Was I really trying to do this?

"When is Billy going to be home?" I asked, pulling off his shirt.

"Not for a while baby," he whispered into my ear.

How old was Jacob? 16? I hoped what I was doing wasn't illegal. I don't think rapist exactly goes with my name. I undid the top button of his jeans.

"Is…this what you really want?"

_I don't know Isabella, is it?_

Instead of answering, I jammed my lips against his. His kiss was unguarded, something I wasn't used too. Suddenly it hit me. I had all the power. With Jacob, there were no limits, no rules, and no worry of him killing me.

_Do you really think Edward would have killed you?!_

Jacob put his hands up my back, under my shirt, and unhooked my bra. His touch was unlike anything I had felt; it was so warm. Slowly he started to unbutton my shirt, my gray camisole now the only barrier between his hot skin and mine. He pulled me into him so that my face was resting against his muscular chest, it was so warm.

"Jacob," I moaned, the heat felt good.

I was very careful not to think of Edward, I didn't know how I would react. Jacob lifted my camisole off, and inhaled. I self consciously blushed, I had never taken my shirt off in front of someone, not even…

_You know you want to say his name._

I really wanted to smack my head.

He was so young, I wasn't sure if he knew what to do. Cautiously he reached up and placed a hand on my breast, cupping it. His touch made every nerve ending in my body come alive, but it didn't feel, right. It was nothing like _his _icy touch. Jacob looked at me, not knowing what the next move was.

_Jeeze, Bella. He's looking at you like he has brain damage. Doesn't he know what to do?_

Nothing seemed to happen, so I put my mouth back on his, he squeezed tighter.

"Ow!" I protested. He automatically moved his hand away.

"Sorry," he said, looking away.

"It's okay…"

What the hell am I doing? He's only 16!

"I want you Bella, all of you."

His words made me slightly queasy. Yeah, I don't think I want to do this anymore. Buthis eyes were full of longing, passion. He really did want this.

"I…love you Bella."

Woah! This is soon.

I just stared at him, not sure what I was supposed to say. Did I love him? I sure thought so 20 minutes ago while I was breaking Edward's heart.

_Oh no, Edward. _

I didn't want to think about Edward anymore. I looked into Jacob's waiting, patient eyes. I could see our future once again, reflected in his big brown eyes. He really did love me. I reached down and put his hand back on my breast.

"I want you here, now." I demanded.

And slowly the night unfolded.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

40….41….42

I counted each revolution as the old ceiling fan lazily spun. It was all I could do to keep my thoughts away, thoughts I desperately did not want to revisit. Besides me lay an innocent, teenage boy, fast asleep; his slender, long body spilling over the edge of his too small bed.

_Not so innocent anymore, Bella_

My subconscious was screaming at me, and she was right.

_Bella! Do you realize what you have done? What about __**Edward?**_

Ugh, Edward. He was the last person I wanted to think about right now.

I started to get up, but I felt a warm arm on mine.

"Hey Bella," Jacob smiled sheepishly; it made him look like a little kid.

"Hey Jake," I croaked.

Seeing his face brought on a new fresh wave of embarrassment. His lips, his eyes, his hands….

I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter.

"I think I, err, need to go."

"Yeah, wouldn't want Charlie to worry."

I got up and reached for my jeans and shirt…and bra. I felt so exposed.

"You might need these?"

I looked back to see Jacob dangling my black panties on the tip of his index finger. I blushed deep scarlet and collected that vital piece of clothing.

"Yeah, thanks. Uhm, bye."

"Bye Isabella. Thanks for….last night." He gave me a wink that made my stomach do flips.

As I got out into his tiny front yard, I realized I didn't have a car to me home. And I know that the ride home with Jacob would just be too awkward for me to handle.

_Well I know who you could call…_

I rolled my eyes at my inner self. I really do wish I could call him.

"Bella?"

I turned around to see an overly-joyed Billy Black. Great, more embarrassment.

"Bella," he repeated, "would you like me to drive you home?"

"No, thank you," I smiled as innocently as I could, wondering if he knew of last night's events. My tired legs protested at my decision.

He nodded his head and then rolled back into the house.

After about 2 miles I started to highly regret my choice to not accept the ride home. As I continued forward, I started to hear muted growls, no doubt coming from the woods on either side of the road. I saw a sandy color out of the corner of my eye.

"Seth!" I called, I adored him.

Hovering at the edge of the woods was Seth, wolf form and all. Even when as a wolf, he looked happy.

He nodded his head and disappeared into the forest. I stood, waiting, until he returned as a human.

"Hey Bells!" he screeched, picking me up and spinning me around, "I haven't seen you since the other day. What's up?"

_Well I just banged your friend and now I don't have a ride home_

"Uhm, not much. I was at Jacob's but now I'm just trying to get home."

"You're walking home? Why didn't Jacob take you?"

_Because it would have been incredibly awkward_

I put on my best poker face. Seth certainly didn't need to be informed of last night's antics.

"I crashed there last night. When I woke up he was still sleeping, I didn't want to wake him."

My lie sounded good enough, but then again, I was a horrid liar.

"Want me to take you to the line so Edward can pick you up there? I really don't mind."

"Can you just take me to my house, please?"

He raised his eye brow quizzically, but accepted with a head nod.

"Follow me," he said, running into the woods.

I watched as he transformed, it was purely and amazing sight. He signaled with his snout to climb onto his back.

_Wow Bella, riding two wolves in a 24 hour time period. Better not make this a habit_

I shook the thought out of my head. Sometimes I really hated my inner voice. Of course Jacob wasn't a wolf when it was happening but….

Eww, I pushed the thought away.

I closed my eyes and nuzzled my head into Seth's fur. I was so tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. The next time I opened my eyes, Seth was coming to a stop in the trail by my house.

I got off of his back and he quickly ran behind a tree. When he returned, he was wearing his old pair of shorts.

"I would do front door delivery," he joked, "but I wouldn't want to scare the neighbors."

We both gave a little chuckle and then thanked him.

"Hey," he said as I started to turn away, "tell Edward I say hi, I haven't seen him in a while."

My stomach churned.

"Yeah…I'll tell him."

Seth smiled and ran into the rainy woods. I fervently wondered if he knew anything yet. I prayed to God that Jacob hadn't phased and revealed everything.

Charlie was waiting for me when I walked into the door.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" his voiced shocked me as I was walking up the stairs.

"GET BACK DOWN HERE."

Dear God, this was going to be a fun conversation.

"Hi Dad."

He tapped his foot like an old woman would and pointed to the chair in the living room.

"First of all, don't 'hi dad' me. Do you know how scared I was?! I was about to call the police department."

"Dad, you are the police department," I saw his cheeks flame red, it wasn't from blushing.

"You didn't come home all night. Please tell me you weren't at Cullens. Do you realize how old you are?! You don't just go over to your boyfriend's house and stay the night. Doing God knows what…"

I blushed red, and I saw his eyes light up.

"Isabella," he whispered, "you….with him!?!?! NO NO NO NO NO NO **NO**!!!"

I could see what he was referring too.

"No dad!" I shouted, "Don't get ahead of yourself. I wasn't doing that with _him._"

Well, it was the truth.

I saw some of his anger dissipate. His stance became cooler.

"Oh, well that's good," he seemed calmer, "but what were you doing?"

Poker face time again.

"I was, at Jakes, and then I fell asleep. I'm sorry. I should have called."

I tried to look down at the ground so my face couldn't give me away.

"Jake? Okay, sorry I jumped to conclusions Bella. That's fine, but next time, call please."

He ruffled my hair a bit and then smiled. I felt like a little kid.

"Okay, next time I will."

_Next time? Sorry, there won't be a next time you little slut_

I turned away and proceeded to walk up the stairs.

"Hey Bells?" Charlie called

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Oh God, could I feel anymore guilty?

"Love you too, dad."

I ran up the remainder of the stairs, I needed some alone time.

* * *

When I opened my door I was greeted by many pairs of cool, gold eyes staring back at me. I had momentarily forgotten that my room was littered with pictures of Edward. I stood with my back up against my now closed door, letting my eyes wander over each picture, me and Edward in the woods, one with me, Edward and Alice in Port Angeles, me and him in his kitchen. I slowly sunk to the floor and let the tears flow, holding my head in my hands.

"Why am I so stupid?" I sobbed.

Last night with Jacob was, well it was exactly how I thought it would be. It was awkward, and wrong. Jacob was my best friend, not my lover. I thought that being with him would be easy, but instead, it didn't feel right.

_Well it's too late now Bella, Edward isn't going to want to take you back._

My subconscious was right; there was no way he would be with me again. I felt so cheap. I picked my sorry self up and lay down on the bed, letting last night flow through my head.

I knew going into it that it wasn't what I wanted, but seeing the longing in Jacob's eyes made me feel compelled to give Jacob what he wanted. What's the worst that could happen? That's what I thought when I was in the moment. The worst that could happen is that I broke up with Edward, and had sex with my best friend. Good job, way to go Bella.

Why did I pick Jacob?! It still didn't make sense to me. Yes, I love Jacob. But not like that! His touch doesn't make every part of my tingle body like Edward's does. There is no electric charge in the atmosphere when I put my lips to his. I used Jacob because I was feeling sorry for myself. The whole newborn fight left me feeling confused, and to top it off with a kiss from Jacob that showed me how a normal future could be and bam! Now I'm lying here with tears in my eyes and a desperate need for a shower.

I slid my hand under my pillow, trying to get in a comfortable position. I felt something smooth and cool under my fingers. It was note addressed to Miss Swan.

Dear Miss Swan,

I'm not angry, so please don't wallow in guilt. I understand why you chose him, and I always understood it was a possibility. I hope everything works out for you, truly I do. My family and I have decided to leave Forks; I wanted to make this as easy as possibly for you. Thank you, for loving me, and understanding what I am. I will always love you, Bella.

Be safe,

Edward Cullen

What?! Leaving!

"NO." I shouted it.

Moments later Charlie came into my room and saw me going to pieces. He rushed over to my bed and embraced me.

"Bella! What happened?"

I couldn't speak. It felt like my mouth had been sewn shut. Charlie snatched the note out of my hands and scanned it.

"WHAT. HE LEFT YOU AGAIN." Charlie's face turned a color I didn't know was possible.

I still couldn't speak. He started shaking my shoulders.

"Bella, honey, its okay. Please, say something!"

"I-i…" that was all I could manage to get out.

"THAT BASTARD. I'LL KILL HIM."

I opened my eyes and placed my hand on my frantic father.

"Dad, it's not what you think. He isn't the one leaving me."

Charlie looked confused, and he scanned the note again.

"Bella, I don't understand," he cocked his head to the right and looked me in the puffy red eyes.

".Jacob." I said each word slowly, it sounded odd to even my ears.

Charlie sat down on the edge of my bed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Wow, Bella. I-well I don't know what to say."

"Me neither," I whispered back, leaning my head into his arm.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

I explained everything to Charlie. Well minus that the boys that want me are feuding mortal Vampire-Werewolf enemies. Charlie made me tea and provided tissues when necessary.

"And so that's it," I said with a little sniffle.

He looked into my eyes and sighed, there was a lot of information to be absorbed.

"That's heavy stuff, Bells. I wish I could give you more advice, but you know I've never exactly been the best advice giver. Maybe you should call your-"

"NO!" I half screamed.

There was a reason I didn't want Renee to know about this. She would talk for days and days about 'follow my heart' and 'true love is blind' blah blah blah. Sorry, the rules of love don't exactly apply when your ex-boyfriend is a vampire.

_Ex-boyfriend…_

I felt a strange twinge in my heart, like something was empty. I was instantly reminded of the throbbing hole that was there when Edward had left me. Charlie saw me wince and placed his hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to reality.

"Dad, thanks, but if I call Renee…"

"Yeah, I understand Bells. But don't forget, she's your mom, she might know more than your silly old dad."

"No one could beat you dad,"

He chuckled and walked to the doorway.

"I'm always here if you need me, kay?"

I pulled my face together enough for a convincing smile.

"Kay dad thanks."

I honestly couldn't remember the last time me and Charlie had had an honest conversation.

He gave me a little nod and shut the door. As soon as he was gone I smashed myself face first into my pillow and let out possibly one of the loudest screams of my life.

It was only a little bit past one in the afternoon, but I drifted into a heavy sleep.

His cold arms wrapped around my chest.

"I love you," an icy breath caressed my ear.

I felt hands move down my skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps. There was no doubt whose finger's these were. I looked up into the most beautiful golden eyes; his lips were slightly parted, revealing a glistening set of sharp white teeth.

"Oh, Edward," I moaned as his expert fingers slowly dragged down my shivering legs.

"Forever," his voice was full of promise; it was the most delicious sound in the world, a symphony of smooth bells.

He brushed my hair away, uncovering my pale neck, gutting with my jugular vein. At first he kissed it, his lips feeling like an electric jolt and then I felt a certain cold wetness, followed by a sharp pinch.

"Mmmm," I mused.

I felt the most pleasurable sensation coarse through my body. From head to toe my body pulsed with a sweet rhythm, it felt like ice in my veins. I saw Edward look down at me through his thick lashes, he licked his lips.

"Isabella," he praised, "you taste so delicious."

I felt the heat flood into my cheeks, and he reached his hand up to caress it.

"I'm really going to miss this," he said, as he trailed his hand off my face and got up.

"Where are you going?" I yelled, watching him walk away.

He blinked at me and smiled his heart-stopping crooked smile that will forever be seared into my mind.

"Goodbye," he whispered.

"What! Wait?!"

I watched him disappear into thin air, leaving an eerie echo behind. And then the burning began.

*****

I woke up with a jolt, warm arms on mine.

"Bella! Wake up!"

I whipped my eyes, clearing my vision. Jacob stood in front of me, tall and frantic.

"Are you okay Bells? You were screaming."

I just stared at him, my mind still spinning. I got up off the bed and pushed him away. I grabbed my keys off of the nightstand and headed for the door. Jacob grabbed my arm.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Let me go!" I yelled.

Charlie came up the stairs and opened my door.

"What's going on here? Jacob, how the hell did you get into the house?!"

I looked at both of them and then wriggled out of Jacob's grasp; I didn't have time for this.

As I ran down the stairs, I saw Jacob point to my open bedroom window. Someday he would kill himself trying to get in that window.

I opened my truck's door open with a little more force than necessary and stabbed the key into the ignition, the engine clicked.

"Come on baby," I murmured as I rubbed the steering wheel.

Eventually the ignition caught and I pulled out furiously; today wasn't the day to be following traffic laws. As I rolled down the 101 I started praying that Edward was still home.

I followed the three miles of drive until I finally approached the big white window-walled house. There was a faint glow coming from the windows, but this was not the usual; the Cullen's liked to have every light on.

I kicked my door open and stumbled onto the blacktop, falling on my knees.

"Dammit," I wailed, but I quickly picked myself up.

The front door was unlocked, I wasted no time knocking.

"Edward!" I screamed as I ran towards the light I saw glowing from the great room.

The room was empty. I ran through every room, looking in the silliest places like cabinets and drawers, not sure what I would be finding in them.

I made my way up the grand stairs and searched each room, still nothing. Finally I came to the last door, Edward's room. Slowly I opened the door; it was as empty as my heart felt. I walked over to the unnecessary bed in the middle of the room. A new wave of memories flowed into my mind; Edward and me lying in the middle, him cradling me in his arms, playing with a strand of my hair as we discussed things like college, and new cars.

I ran my fingers through my tangled hair, gulping in air sharply. I felt my knees crash into the carpet and that was it, I exploded. Tear uncontrollably streamed down my cheeks. I lay on the floor and curled up on my side, pulling my legs up to my chest. Hours seemed to pass, maybe days, I couldn't tell. Eventually the tears stopped, but were replaced with tremors rolling through my fragile body.

It finally hit me. Edward was gone. And this time, it was my fault.

* * *

**My little chickens! I hope you like it x**

**Please review, I want to know what you think.**

**Ps: I'm massively team Edward, so you can kind of guess which way this will go ;D**

**Xoxo Lea**


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

It had been at least a day since I collapsed. I was only aware of the changing light outside the big window walls. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't tired, it was like I didn't exist; I felt like I was standing outside of my body, watching myself be absolutely pathetic.

_Come on Bella. This will solve nothing. Get up!_

I knew that my mind was right, how was this making anything better?

I steadied my hands on the floor and pushed myself up, almost stumbling into the black iron bedframe. I wandered around the cold, abandoned house. Everything was still here; the computers, the furniture. I touched Edward's grand piano, letting my fingers feel its texture; it was cold and hard. I sat down on its low bench and pressed the keys. A sweet pitch filled my ears, reminding me of my lullaby. I couldn't believe all of this was really happening to me. And most of all, I couldn't believe that I brought it upon myself. I could be completely happy right now; In Edward's arms, holding his stone jaw in my hands.

A burning desire filled my stomach, it was an intense longing. I got up and ran over to Esme's laptop that was perched on the glass coffee table; it was still on. I searched for anything that would reveal where they had gone, but there was nothing. I opened her emailing program, not sure what I was going to find. I scrolled through her list of contacts, they were categorized:

Work

Friends

Family…

I knew which one I needed. I found a pen and paper and took down the email addresses I needed. I took Carlisle's, Alice's, and of course, Edward's. I was about to get up when I heard a ping come from the computer; there was a new email. I clicked on it.

**From: **Alice Cullen

**Subject: **What are you doing?

**Date: **3 March 9:41AM

**To: **Esme Cullen

Dear Bella,

I don't think Esme would appreciate you being on her laptop, or breaking into our house. Please, go home.

I didn't know whether to respond or cry. I decided to take the first option.

**From: **Esme Cullen

**Subject: **ALICE!

**Date: **3 March 9:45AM

**To: **Alice Cullen

Oh Alice! You don't even understand what I have been going through. Please, tell me where you guys are. I'm a mess.

-Bella

A minute later there was a response.

**From: **Alice Cullen

**Subject: **You're a mess?

**Date: **3 March 9:47AM

**To: **Esme Cullen

You have the nerve to say that? You don't even know what we've been dealing with. Mr. Mopey hasn't left his room since we got here. Bella, you made your choice. Don't hurt Edward any more than you already have. Now go home. Charlie is frantic, I saw him calling around town looking for you.

So Edward was a mess too? This made me feel even worse. I needed to find out where they were.

**From: **Esme Cullen

**Subject: **Where are you?

**Date: **3 March 9:50AM

**To: **Alice Cullen

Alice, please, where are you guys?

-Bella

It was a plea; I hope she could hear how desperate I was.

I sat for a minute, waiting for a response. I didn't hear the next ping until nearly 10 minutes later.

**From: **Alice Cullen

**Subject: **This is not Alice anymore

**Date: **3 March 9:59AM

**To: **Esme Cullen

Bella, go home to Jacob.

-Edward

_Holy Crow _it was Edward.

**From: **Esme Cullen

**Subject: **(None)

**Date: **3 March 10:01AM

**To: **Alice Cullen

I don't want Jacob.

-Bella

I felt queasy as I sent it, not sure how he would respond. I waited and waited, but I never got anything back.

I got up off the couch and placed the laptop back on the coffee table, unsure of my next move. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and turned it on; I had 20 new voicemails. Half were from a frantic Charlie, threatening to call the cops; the other half was a furious Jacob Black stating that I better not be with Cullen.

I called Charlie first; he picked up on the second ring.

"Isabella," he sighed in relief.

"Sorry Char- err, dad. I'm safe." I wasn't sure if that was true or not.

"I'm trying so hard not to yell at you right now Isabella. Tell me where you are."

I had to think of the perfect lie; I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I was at Angela's. I stayed the night. I needed some girl time."

I heard my dad breath heavily on the other line.

"Don't give me that crap Bella. I called their house last night to see if you were there."

"Oh," it was all I could say.

"You're _there_ aren't you?"

I knew what he was referring too. And he knew my answer by the silence.

"God dammit Bella! You had me so scared. What the hell did you think you would find?"

"I-I just had to be sure he was really gone. I didn't know if this was all real or not…"

I let my voice trail off, and I heard Charlie sigh again.

"Please come home." I could hear how worried he was.

I mumbled "okay" into the phone and then hung up. Poor Charlie, I had put him through enough.

I got up and walked out of the great room, into the hallway. I rounded the corner and then collided head first into a tall, dark figure.

"Jacob," I gasped.

"I cannot believe you. I knew I would find you here."

Jacob held onto me, giving me a much needed hug; my tears started again.

"I'm so sorry. I just….well he's gone."

Jacob's face was smooth, but I could see pain in his eyes. He didn't say anything; he just held me tighter and kissed my hair. I stood with him for a long time, just embracing each other.

"I remember when he left you in the woods last September, and we had to look for you. I thought you were dead, Bella. So when Charlie called me last night and said you hadn't come home and that Edward had left, **again**,I just, couldn't bare it," he instinctively squeezed me tighter. "I couldn't even entertain the idea of losing you."

While Jacob was pouring his heart out, I was thinking about Edward. I was so selfish. I shoved Edward out of my brain and looked up at Jacob; his face was crippled with pain.

I would never love Jacob like I did Edward, but I loved Jacob enough to not want to see him in pain. Edward wasn't coming back, and Jacob was all I had left. He was the one that I, for some reason, chose. I had spent all my time regretting my choice, when I should have just appreciated how much me wants me. I reached up and intertwined my fingers in his choppy black hair. I kissed him with as much force as possible, throwing my whole body into it. Jacob wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me back; this time I really wanted him. I pulled his shirt off and pressed myself against his burning skin. I wasn't done sulking, but right now I needed to make Jacob happy. And as we continued our activities here on the floor in the Cullen's hallway, I heard the laptop ping.

**So my loves, I'm on school vacation, so you won't have to wait a long time for the next chapter.**

**I'm thinking Edward POV soon? It's definitely a possibility. **

**You must review to let me know how I'm doing!**

**Thanks guys x**

**Xoxo Lea**

**Ps: Sorry this chapter is so short, trust me, they will get longer!**


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

As Jacob carried me in his arms back to Charlie's house I thought about everything that had happened in the last few days. I had chosen Jacob, so why was I so torn up that Edward was gone? It makes sense for him to have left. It wasn't clear to me, but all I knew was that I missed him. Jacob pulled me out of my reverie with a light kiss into my hair, and immediately, my thoughts were brought back to what had just taken place between us, in the Cullen's front hallway. I blushed a deep red and I knew that Jacob saw.

"I can't believe we just did that, _there_" Oops, I had said that out loud didn't I?

Jacob gave a little chuckle, he was glowing with confidence.

"Payback," he muttered, and I didn't respond.

Charlie was ecstatic to see me; I could see the worry lift from his face.

"Isabella," he lightly breathed, hugging me when Jacob set me down.

"Sorry," was all I could choke out. Seeing his face reminded me of when Sam had carried me out of the woods last year.

No, I couldn't think of these things. It was my decision; he was gone because of me.

"I have to get back to La Push; please don't go wandering off again." I saw his stance shift, he looked uncomfortable. Jacob's eyes were squinted, and his nose wrinkled in the weirdest way.

Jacob gave us both one last nod and then headed out the door; he was in alpha mode now.

When Jacob was gone Charlie just stared at me, examining my face. I sighed and walked up into my room.

My room felt colder than usual, and I realized that the window was open. I walked over to it and touched the glass, and then the wood of the pane. The feel of it beneath my fingertips made me shutter; hard and cold.

Something didn't feel right, like the atmosphere had shifted. When I turned around I half expected someone to be there, but no one was. I sauntered over to my desk and woke my laptop, and then almost choked; I had forgotten that my desktop picture was Edward and I, our meadow set in the background. I trailed my fingers across the screen, trying to imagine the feel of his strong jaw under my hands. This was going to be harder than I thought.

_No Bella, this is exactly as hard as you knew it would be_

My subconscious had been very vocal lately, but often times, she was maddeningly correct.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and I frankly had no idea what to do. Jacob was amazing, and I loved him, but I also loved Edward. I sincerely wished that my life had an "undo" button. An idea I had not thought of bubbled to my mind. If I could go back and redo the moment right before I chose Jacob, would I have? I wasn't sure, and I didn't know if I would ever be. 20 minutes ago, when I had been safe in Jacob's arms, I had been sure, but now that he wasn't here, I felt differently. I wondered if I would always feel like this; lost and confused.

I snapped my laptop shut with a little too much force and bounced onto my bed, it made me realize how tired I was. I laid my head on the pillow, hearing a strange crinkling sound when I did. I reached under my pillow and felt something smooth, and flat; it was a letter. It was nothing more than a plain envelope, my name written across the front. I opened it, and something hit me. The paper was heavy and thick, but what overwhelmed me the most was the scent. This letter was from a Cullen, it was evidently clear. Before I unfolded it, I took a deep sniff, basking in the glory of what was one of the Cullen's' delicious scent. Only a few words were written inside, but I knew the handwriting. I sighed, it was from Alice.

New Hampshire

My eyes lit up, she was telling me where they were. I didn't understand why she had given me this, but no matter what the reason, I was grateful. I tucked the letter back in the envelope and placed it in the draw of my bedside table. I didn't know what the letter meant to me at the moment, but I was sure there was a reason for it.

************

I opened my eyes to a faint dark glow outside my window; my room was cold. I stumbled out of and took a deep breath, listening for noises downstairs but I hearing nothing. Downstairs I found a very cranky Charlie at the kitchen table.

"What's wrong dad?" my voice didn't sound very concerned.

"Hungry."

He stared at me and I put both of my hands up, palms forward.

"Oh no, don't get up," I joked "I'll make you something because you're obviously not capable."

Charlie smiled with warmth. "Thanks Bells," he nodded.

After dinner I decided to go for a walk on the trail behind my house. It was chilly for a summer night, so I grabbed my hoodie and headed out the door.

As I walked, I trailed my fingers along the wet leaves dangling from low trees, and I smelled the clean, sweet air. I felt calm for the first time in a few days. I idly wondered what Jacob was doing, or if he had known that a Cullen had been in my house; I really hoped that he didn't catch that part, he would probably freak. I had always hated how he talked about them, especially Edward. I didn't understand why Jacob disliked him so much. For a little while, I just thought about random things- the color of the sky as the sun faded behind the cloud cover, the squeaking of my Converse against the damp earth- the next time I looked up, what I saw looked very familiar. The trees were slightly parted; almost making a circle formation around one little, green spot. I could feel the tears threatening in my eyes, but I knew I was just being silly. I kept walking, trying not to think about the memory that had been seared into my mind here. As I got further and further away I looked back. I saw myself, and I saw Edward with hard eyes, kissing my lightly on the forehead, whispering goodbye. The image made me shutter, and at some point, I started to run deeper onto the path**. **

**I'm sure everyone wants to kill me. Sorry the update took so long, the power decided to go out for a few days, and then I got busy and you know. I was itching to write, but I just didn't have time. **

**Yeah, I know, this chapter is short- sue me. I write what needs to be written. I just love leaving you on cliffhangers don't I? **

**I have been reading a particularly lot of smut lately. Master of the Universe is one of the best fanfictions of all time, just wanted to fill you in on that. It can be read on twilighted**

**Next update? Hmm depending on my schedule (yeah like I have time for a schedule) it will be sometime next week. Also, my loves, it will be in Edward's point of view, so you better be ready for some sulking.**

**Yes, Jacob and Bella had sex on the Cullen's floor. I bet all you Team Edwardians were cringing- I know I was. **

**Until next time loves,**

**Xx lea**


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

**EPOV***

"Edward!!!" Alice screamed through the door.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table; it was a little past five pm. I knew what she wanted, so I didn't understand why she needed to scream. Wait, yes I did; she was Alice, that's why.

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN. DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A HUNT OR WHAT?"

Her shrill voice make the hair on the back of my neck stand up; even a century later and her she still irritated me as bad as she had the first day.

"Go away," I murmured, and before I knew it, the comforter on top of me was on the floor, and a very angry Alice was leaning over me, tapping her foot.

"You need to get over yourself, okay? You're 109, and you act like you are some teenage boy."

I darkly laughed at her, "well I am seventeen," I said back.

She raised her eyebrow; apparently she didn't think it was funny.

"This isn't like last September, Edward. You knew this was a possibility, and moping around won't make anything any better. "

I stared out the window, focusing on the rain dripping down a mossy tree. She was right, this wasn't like September. It was worse.

I shuttered, and my mind drifted to something I didn't want to imagine; Bella in Jacob's arms, him telling her that he loves her.

Alice was still hovering over me; her mask of anger had quickly turned to concern.

"Look Edward," she said with sympathy in her voice. "You know I don't mean to be hard on you. We're all just….worried."

Great that was the last thing I needed; a bunch of vampires worrying about me. I got out of the bed, and Alice moved aside.

I could hear her thinking about how bad I looked, but another part of her mind told me to get over it. She just didn't understand.

I grabbed a shirt that was hanging off a hook on the back of the door, and her mind immediately shifted; she was planning to buy me some new clothes.

"I'll meet you in the great room," she said, floating out of my room, leaving the door open.

I hesitated, I honestly wasn't thirsty. I was going to go hunting, but not for me. I wanted to prove that I was okay; well at least make it seem like I was okay. I slipped on some shoes and went down the stairs.

When I turned into the great room the mood seemed to change. The conversation Esme and Rosalie were having about paint colors seized, and they all looked at me. I had been hiding in my room since we had got to New Hampshire.

Alice realized what had happened, and she saved me from this awkward silence.

"Well, let's go!" She pranced to Jasper and grabbed his hand; the rest trailed behind them.

Like Forks, New Hampshire had a countless amount of wildlife…and cloudy days. I ran ahead of my family, trying to get away from their agonizing stares. It was bad enough that I could hear every thought they had; did I really need the glances too? As we got further into the forest, I picked up the faint smell of Elk. I stood in place and waited for my family to catch up.

"Elk again?" Emmett complained.

Esme nudged his shoulder, "be grateful for what you can get, dear."

I knew she wasn't only talking to Emmett. I shook off her comment and tensed for the kill.

We all ran in unison to the east, and the smell grew stronger. The dull burning in the throat flared, I hadn't realized that I had been this thirsty. Ahead of us I spotted about eight Elks, all standing in a loose circle grazing. Emmett was the first one to spring on them, taking the biggest one by surprise. The rest of my family went in for it, but I stayed behind. I watched as they tackled the Elk, and then quickly sunk their sharp teeth into its jugular vein; it really was quite a thing of beauty. Suddenly, I was assaulted by a memory I didn't want right now.

I was in the Forks High School cafeteria, sitting at one of the round lunch tables. In front of me was a piece of pizza, and staring at me was Bella. Her cheeks were a light crimson, and her eyes were boring into mine. We had been discussing how Emmett's favorite thing to hunt was a Grizzly Bear, and mine a Mountain Lion.

"_Is that something I might get to see?" _she said, curiosity in her voice.

"_Absolutely not!"_ I remembered shouting back.

There was no way I would ever subject her to so much danger.

I was pulled out of my reverie by Emmett's booming voice.  
"EDWARDDDDD."

I blinked and lurched forward, catching one of the Elk. It wasn't that big, but it was enough. I held it firmly in my arms and tore into it. It was warm under my hands, and slowly my mind drifted to someone else that was warm… I saw a set of brown eyes in my mind.

I stopped and pulled away from the Elk. It was still half full, but I wasn't so thirsty anymore. I stood up and brushed myself off.

"Yes Emmett, you can have it. I'm done." I said, answering his unspoken question.

"Thanks Edward," he said, lunging onto my kill and taking the remaining blood.

"I'm going to head back," I said, not directing it to anyone in particular.

Esme nodded and then I heard a flurry of "Okay's." in my head.

I turned west, and took off running at a slower pace than usual. Once I was far enough away from my family, and my mind was voice free, I let everything flood back. I thought about the car ride home from Port Angeles, the first time I showed myself in the sunlight to Bella, when she invited me to First Beach, the first time I saw her in Biology- the memory of her scent made my unsatisfied thirst burn in my throat.

Ah Bella, how could one girl cause me so much emotion? All I wanted was to be with her right now; holding her in my arms, playing with her hair.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my rain-soaked hair. I looked back in the direction of the house; I wonder how long it would take to run to Forks. I knew I could make it there with no problem, getting there wasn't the issue, it was what would happen when I got there that was unpredictable. I stopped running and stood in place. Nobody could truly know how much I wanted her right now. Bella was my air, I needed her to survive. And now my oxygen had been cut off.

In that moment my mind thought of a million different ways to win her back. If I showed up on Charlie's doorstep and begged, would she take me back? I wasn't sure. Then a thought crossed my mind that I had not thought of yet. Maybe Bella was happy with Jacob, and I was the only one suffering. The very selfish part of me grinned and hoped she was going through as much pain as me. The more rational part, however, knew that no one should ever feel the way I do now, ever.

I wouldn't go to Forks, I wouldn't beg, and I wouldn't fight it. Bella had chosen Jacob and that was it. There was nothing more for me to figure out.

I turned around and started to run back to the house, reeling straight for my bed where I could try and escape my feelings, well, if only for a little while.

* * *

Alice was sitting on my bed when I jumped in through my bedroom window. God, she was annoying.

"Tell me Edward. What was the reason we moved to Londonderry in the first place? And don't say because New Hampshire is rainy."

I unbuttoned my shirt and slung it over a chair. Alice was still waiting for my reply.

"Well?" she mumbled.

I just stared at her, moving towards my desk.

"I guess I'll answer this one then, since you seem to be at a sudden loss of words," she moved off the bed and snapped my laptop shut as I was opening it.

"We moved to Londonderry so you could forget her, Edward. But oh, what do you do? You stay in this damn bed all day and pout. Next thing we know, you will be on your way to Rio de Janeiro again."

She brought some very unpleasant thought to my mind.

"You don't understand anything, Alice," I reciprocated.

"The hell I don't Edward! What do you think last time taught me? We all saw how miserable you were, the only difference this time is that you couldn't go back if you wanted to. Last time, if you had gone back, she would have been more than happy. But this time it isn't that easy Edward, and frankly we're all sick of this. She has hurt you so much and-"

I didn't let her finish.

"The hurt I can handle Alice, but her being in someone else's embrace… that's what kills me."

Alice didn't say anything back; she just placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Every time I close my eyes, I see her, and him," I whispered.

Her grasp on my shoulder got tighter; I could hear her saying sorry in her head.

"I understand your reason for concern, but nothing you say can make it any better."

"You'll find someone better, I promise." She gave me a little half smile and walked out; she didn't know what else to say.

I got into my bed and pulled the covers over my head, this was going to be a long forever.

**Well? This was my first time writing in Edward's POV, please let me know what you think.**

**If you think I am doing an amazing job, well then thanks. If you think this sucks, let me know. I honestly want the feedback, good or bad.**

**Oh, and yay! This chapter is actually longer, sort of. **

**So you know the deal, REVIEWWWW**

**Next update? Maybe not until the weekend, but maybe earlier. I have a few tests, and some essay's to write. Funnn…**

**If you review, Edward will love you forever x 3**

**Xoxo Lea**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

***BPOV~**

It had been an okay week. I tried to forget about Edward, but I was surrounded by him. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his pale, perfect face grimacing in pain. When I walked by my window and saw the forest looming on the edge of my yard, I thought of racing through the canopies on his back.

Edward or not, I was happy with Jacob. I spent most of my time with him down at La Push. We went fishing, went to the movies, I even cooked dinner for him and Billy a few nights. Everything felt very…normal. Normal wasn't a word I had used to describe my life for a long time. Being with Jacob was like breathing, or blinking. It was simply easy and natural.

When I was with Jake, the time seemed to fly by, although summers in Forks seemed to last forever. Since me and Jacob's err, antics in the Cullen's house, it hadn't happened again. When I was alone, I thought about it. Sweet, innocent virgin Bella was not so innocent anymore. It embarrassed me to think about. Jacob was so young, and I had been so vulnerable, I didn't want our relationship to consist of the sex element until many, many years from now. Jacob hadn't said anything about it either, so I assumed he was embarrassed too, thought I knew the whole pack knew.

Jacob and I were curled up on his too small loveseat; Billy had gone to bed for the night.

"I should get going, Jake," I said, unwrapping myself from him. He only held me tighter.

"You don't have to go," he said, smiling at me.

I smiled back.

"Charlie would have a conniption fit if I didn't come home Jake," I thought back to many previous times where I hadn't come home.

"There is this great new invention Bells, it's called a telephone."

I returned his sarcasm with a glare; he laughed.

"I don't have any clothes here, or a toothbrush."

Jacob took his hand and placed it under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Who need's clothes?" He said. And before I knew it, his mouth was on mine.

I pushed him away, I wasn't in the mood.

"Not right now, Jacob." My voice wasn't as stern as I wanted it to sound.

"Oh, come on Bells! You have barely touched me since last time! I'm starting to think you don't like me."

"You know that's terrible untrue, Jacob. I'm just…not in the mood."

Jacob laughed but gave up with a sigh and slouched back into the couch.

It was quiet for a few minutes. I peeked up at his face, it was clean of emotion.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"S'okay," he said with a light smile. "Another time."

Actually, there wouldn't be another time.

I got up and kissed his forehead and headed for the door.

Once I got outside I remembered that Jacob had picked me up at Charlie's house earlier on. When I turned around I saw a very amused, smirking Jacob standing at the door twirling a keychain around his long finger.

"Need a ride?" He said, giggling.

His laughter made me smile; he sounded like a little boy.

_A little boy you had sex with on your Ex-boyfriends floor_

Erg, stupid subconscious!

Jacob walked me to the Rabbit and opened my door.

"Why thank you," I said, getting in.

The ride back to Forks was fairly quiet, but I didn't mind it. I was tired, and looking forward to going straight to bed. When we pulled up in front of Charlie's house Jacob kissed me and then I got out. Today had been very low key, and it was taking some time to get used too.

"Hey Bells. How was La Push?"

Charlie was lolled out on the sofa watching Sports Center.

"Good, how was your day?"

Charlie shrugged and I headed up the stairs. I had to fight to keep my eyelids opened. I wasn't sure why I was so tired, but as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

****

His face was crumpled in pain. He was on his knees, a pleading edge to his velvet voice.

"_Don't do this to me. Please!"_

I looked down at him. His eyes were black and cradled by large, purple bruises. His skin glowed slightly in the moonlight, and his mouth was agape.

I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out.

"_All I ever did was love you. You are my everything, Isabella."_

The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine.

I wanted to reach out, to touch his hand only for a minute, but I couldn't move my arms. The scene was too much for me to bear. I wanted to scream.

He stood up and took my face in his palms; the place where his flesh touched mine left a tingling sensation. He kissed me for a long time, and I didn't stop him. It felt too real, but I also felt the sense that if I blink, it would be gone.

At some point in the kiss I heard a sharp gasp come from behind me. Edward broke the kiss and looked at me lovingly, ignoring whoever was behind him. And for some reason, I didn't care who was behind me. All of my focus was on the beautiful man in front of me.

Edward finally dropped his gaze, and I turned around.

Jacob was standing shirtless, his face a mask of horror.

"_Bella, how could you."_

I watched as he said the words, but they had little effect on me. I turned back to Edward and then back to Jacob. They both wanted something from me, but I didn't have anything to give.

Then, almost instantaneously, they both opened their hands and reached out to me, willing to pick one. Even in my dreams, this was too hard. Edward smiled, and it made my stomach fill with butterflies. I looked then at Jacob's long, dark arm, jutting with muscles. The face connected to that body was frantic. Suddenly, I knew who I wanted. I had decided who I wanted to be with forever.

I reached out and took his hand. My warm hand felt odd on his, but somehow right. From under his long, thick lashes, Edward's eyes sparkled.

Jacob and his grimace faded away into the background as Edward lifted me up into his arms and kissed me in a way that sent my heart thumping out of my chest.

*******

When I woke up the next morning I was very happy. I lay in bed with a big, stupid smile on my face. That smile was quickly evaporated when my cell phone buzzed and I read the message:

Bella, I hope you slept well. Can't wait to see you!

-Jacob

I felt like I was going to be sick. I threw my phone back on my bedside table and flipped over in bed so that my head was buried into my pillow.

"It was just a dream Bella. It didn't mean anything," I told myself aloud.

I wasn't a very good liar, even when I was lying to myself.

What was I going to do? I couldn't just walk up to Jacob and say "hey, I'm leaving you to go back to Edward. Bye."

_Why not!?! _

The voice in my head clearly favored Edward.

Did Edward even want me back? I wasn't sure.

A voice broke the silence.

"BELLA!" Charlie called up the stairs. "JACOB IS HERE."

Oh no! How was I supposed to face him?

I pulled on my robe and walked down the stairs.

At the bottom of the stairs Jacob stood with both his hands behind his back and a huge grin on his face.

"Hi," I said, I felt so guilty.

"Hey," he said back, practically bouncing.

"You look so beautiful," he said.

"Err, thanks."  
I wanted to run.

From behind his back he pulled out a huge bouquet of roses.

GREAT. I screamed in my head.

As I stood there, it felt like I was being consumed by my guilt. I didn't deserve Jacob.

"Jacob," I said, trying to hide my discomfort.

"I'll let you get dressed," he nodded to my robe.

I nodded back and headed upstairs to get clothes on.

Overnight everything had changed- my whole perspective had been completely turned upside down. How I ever thought I could leave Edward, I don't know, but my feelings for Jake were different than they were a day ago. I looked out the window into the wet woods. The opening to the trail caught my eyes and my mind thought of something very bad.

_DO IT._ My subconscious yelled.

I went to my door and looked down at Jacob who was sitting on the third step of the staircase, flowers in his hand.

God, I was a terrible person for what I was about to do.

"Jacob," I called as I descended down the stairs.

He looked up at me and smiled.

"So pretty," he murmured.

DAMMIT.

"Let's go for a walk on the trail," I suggested. Part of me hoped he would say no, but I know he would do anything I asked.

"Sure," he said placing the flowers on a little table in the front hallway.

He opened the door for me and then walked besides me to the trail.

We walked for a little bit, I knew what this was leading too.

I didn't know if I really had actually made the decision to do this, it was just kind of happening.

Up ahead, I saw a place on the trail that held a very dark meaning to me. I stood in the exact same spot Edward had last September when he had quietly destroyed my world. The view of Jacob standing where I had not so many months ago made tears come to my eyes. Jacob noticed and grabbed me.

"BELLA! What's wrong!?"

I looked at him and smiled weakly.

I whipped my tears away and kissed him, hard.

I pushed everything I felt aside. So what if I wanted Edward more than I could ever want Jacob? I could suck it up couldn't I?

I pulled his face away from mine and continued on the trail. I was going to suck it all up for Jacob. I could be happy eventually right?

Wrong.

**You got to love Bella's dreams, right? **

**Ohhhhh! I cannot wait to see Edward. Will he be in next chapter? Maybe.**

**Please Review, it helps me so much.**

**The Next update will be soon. The weather has been so nice lately, it's inspiring me.**

**Ps: There will be some surprises, and more brooding. Yay for brooding.**

**Xoxo Lea **


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

I hadn't seen Jacob-or anyone else for that matter- in three days. He'd called, texted, and dropped by, but I didn't want to see him. I told Charlie that I thought I had the flu, and to pass the message on to him.

I had fought with myself over and over again that my dream meant nothing, that is was just a manifestation of the things I had been battling with in my head. I couldn't push past it though because I knew I was wrong. And I was still horrified with myself with what I had almost done just a few days before. I couldn't do to Jake what Edward had done to me, it was unthinkable.

But did I have a choice? I was going to have to leave one way or another.

I sincerely hoped that I could love Jacob the way I wanted to in my mind, but as time went on, I knew it was not going to happen. I love Edward far too much.

After another day of sulking, I think Charlie started getting suspicious.

"Bells, can I come in?" He said, peeking his head around my door.

"Sure," I said, trying to sound sick.

I was almost as bad an actor as I was a liar.

"How are you doing?" He gave me a faint smile.

"I'm okay," it didn't sound convincing.

"Dammit Bella," he said shaking his head.

I looked at him with a confused look. What did I do?

"I know you aren't sick."

It was quiet for a long minute.

"Oh," was all I replied.

Darn, how did he know?

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want too," he paused and took a breath, "even though I have a pretty good idea," he grumbled.

A slight wave of panic shot through me when he said that last sentence.

"But I don't want you sitting in your room all depressed," he continued.

"I'm not depressed, dad. Don't be silly."

Charlie looked at the windows that were covered by the blinds and then at me.

"Really dad, it's nothing."

He wasn't buying it.

I pulled my comforter off and started to get up, reeling for my closet.

"I was just going to get up anyways," I said reaching for a flannel shirt and some jeans.

"You're a terrible liar Bella, but I'm glad you're getting up," he turned towards the door.

"I'll be just downstairs if you want to talk."

I nodded and he left. I hoped Jacob couldn't read me as easily as Charlie had.

When I picked up my phone I had 7 missed calls. I dialed Jacobs's number; he answered on the first ring.

"Bella!" he blared into the phone, "I've missed you so much! How are you feeling?"

He was way too happy for me to take.

"Better," I practically whispered.

"I've been running with the pack, and it's been so boring. Are you going to come down to La Push?"

I didn't really think I had a choice. I composed myself and tried my best at some mock excitement.

"It's been pretty boring here too," I joked, "and yeah, I'm coming down. I'll be there in a few."

"Great!" he said with so much joy that it made me feel worse. "Can't wait."

"Me neither," I lied.

I hung up with Jacob and then made my way downstairs, dodging Charlie's glances.

I took my time getting to La Push. I shoved a CD in the replacement disk player Edward had gotten me after I had viciously dismantled the last one. It was a mix of various artists, but it was my favorite. _The Shins _played as I pulled into Jacob's driveway. He was sitting outside on his front steps sipping a soda.

"Bella!"

I smiled at him; he looked so happy.

He swung me into a tight bear hug and kissed my cheek.

"Hi Jake," I responded.

He examined my face for a second and then hugged me again.

"I missed you so much. The pack was getting sick of hearing me complain about being bored all the time."

I laughed. The poor pack was going to be hearing a lot more very soon…

"So I was thinking we could go to First Beach, you know, since it's actually nice out today."

Today was one of the very rare sunny days in Forks.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

***

When we arrived at the beach he took my hand and we walked down its sandy shore. We watched the surfers and the little kids playing. It was all very relaxing compared to my past few days of intense brooding.

I felt comfortable with Jake right now. It reminded me of our early days when all we had was an easy friendship; I missed it.

Eventually he broke the silence.

"Billy is going up to Charlie's tonight to watch the game, and I was wondering if you wanted to stay for dinner?"

"Sure," I said. I was starting to feel a little bit better.

"What will I be cooking?" I added in jokingly.

"Actually Emily offered to drop off some of her lasagna for us to eat."

"Yum," I replied.

I heard a shriek piece the air and both of us looked up.

I saw 3 very big men on the top of the sea cliffs preparing to take their jumps.

Jacob looked at me and laughed.  
"Do you think Charlie would freak if we went diving?"

I gave him a look.

"Of course," I laughed back.

We both sat down on the warm sand and watched as Paul, Jared, and Sam jumped, slicing into the cold water.

We spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach just talking and laughing. It was a welcomed change to what I had been going through.

I wished everything could be liked it used to when I could spend time with Jacob in La Push, and then go home to my wonderful vampire boyfriend. Was that so much to ask?

Apparently so.

Dinner was delicious, just as I had anticipated it to be. I started to think that I was just being silly, and that I had let my overwhelming dream get to me. Jacob hadn't done anything wrong, and I knew that he loved me.

I was just going through an emotional time, that's what I told myself. I was due for my period so I blamed it all on PMS.

I decided that I was going to stay with Jacob unless I had a significant reason not to do so.

After dinner we sat outside on the hammock that was connected to too large oaks in the backyard. Jacob's huge body barely fit on it and it had made me laugh.

I didn't understand how I could have felt such a strong emotion one hour and then something totally different the next. But I disregarded it and just enjoyed my time with Jake.

It was starting to get late, but Billy wasn't home yet. Jacob shifted me so that I was lying on top of him.

"So," he said.

Oh boy, what was he up too?

"Billy isn't home yet, and, I haven't seen you in a while."

God, I hope it wasn't what I thought it was.

He put his face right up to mine; I could feel his warm breath on my face.

"I was thinking," he continued when I hadn't said anything.

_NO!_

I was going with the voice in my head this time.

"I know what you are going to say Jacob, and my answer is no."

He took my face in his hands so I had to look at him.

"Bella, come on."

I shook my head out of his grasp.

"No," I said again.

He pressed his lips to mine and I shoved him away. His hands reached up my shirts and started to unhook my bra.

"UHM EXCUSE ME."I shouted trying to lift myself up off of him, but he only pressed me tighter.

"I have needs Bella, "

His mouth was furious on mine, and his hands were fighting with the clasp of my bra.

"No, Jacob, NO."

His hands reached down to the button on my jeans. He rolled over so that I was pinned underneath him, and he unzipped my fly.

I didn't want this. Not now, not ever.

Well not from him anyways.

"GET OFF OF ME." I bellowed, struggling to wiggle myself away from under him. He didn't stop.

I closed my eyes and sunk my teeth as hard as I could into his forearm, pleased when he screamed in pain.

"OWWWW!" he shrieked.

I bit him again, this time harder, and he released me.

I jumped off of the hammock and ran as fast as I could to my truck.

_Handled like a true vampire girl. _

"BELLA!" I heard Jacob call from behind me. He grabbed my arm and swung me around so I had to look at him.

"DO. NOT. EVER. TOUCH. ME. "I said while tears spilled down my cheeks.

I pushed his arm away, blood trickling out of it.

I had actually made him bleed.

I got in my truck and slammed the door. Jacob just stared at me.

"I just…I didn't mean….I…."

"Save it, Jacob." I spat at him.

My truck roared to life and sped out of his driveway. He was still standing in the exact same spot as I drove away.

I had forgiven Jacob so many times before, but this was the last time. Never again.

_Do you think Edward would have EVER done this to you? _The voice in myhead yelled.

This time, I yelled back.

"No, he would have never."

I didn't care if I looked crazy talking to myself.

It wasn't PMS; my subconscious had been trying to tell me something important.

I flipped open my cell phone and dialed Alice's number. She picked up on the first ring.

"Bella," she breathed into the receiver.

"Alice. I'm coming there. Now."

She was quiet for a moment.

"What did that dog do!?" she yelled.

I ignored her question.

"I was wrong, and stupid, and inconsiderate, and unappreciative, and…"

I trailed off; I was too angry to finish.

"It's not your fault."

Oh, but it was.

"I'll be there by morning." I said hitting the end button.

When I arrived home Billy and Charlie were still watching the game.

I burst into the house not even bothering to shut the door.

"Bella?" Charlie called.

I ignored him and ran up to my room. I grabbed a duffle bag from my closet and stuffed it with two pairs of jeans, a few shirts, underwear, socks, and my toiletries. I went to the safe that was next to my desk and did the combination. I grabbed a few hundred bucks and threw it in the bag as well. When I ran back down the stairs Charlie was waiting for me.

"What's wrong?" he yelled.

I didn't know if I should tell him or not. Charlie's gun was hanging on a peg in the hallway, I wondered if he would use it on Jacob. I smiled at the thought.

"Jacob tried to have sex with me." I snapped at him, eyeing Billy.

"WHAT?" Charlie screamed back.

"I said no, dad. And he didn't stop. I had to bite him to get him off of me."

Charlie looked down at my pants; I forgot to button them back up. Charlie's eyes widened and his face turned purple.

"He didn't get far enough for that." I said answering Charlie's unspoken question.

Billy remained silent throughout this whole ordeal, although his face looked horrified.

"Well where are you going now?" Charlie said as I reached for the door.

"New Hampshire," I breathed as I walked outside into the cool night air.

"New Hampshire? Why would you go there?!" Charlie was still frantic.

"I have to go talk to someone."

I got in the cab of my truck and started it, throwing my bag onto the floor.

"Bella, you can't. We need to talk about what to do."

"Chief Swan, you already know what to do." I answered back.

Billy, who had wheeled himself to the front door, looked like he was about to puke.

"You want me to arrest him Bella?" Charlie was still yelling.

"HE TRIED TO RAPE ME DAD," I yelled back. "No, let's go let him skip off into the sunset."

Charlie didn't say anything. All he did was turn to Billy, who was still silent. I drove off, headed for the airport.

**Oh my goodness I hate Jacob.**

**I told you that there would be some surprises. **

**Yeah, I know. I just updated yesterday, but like I said, I the nice weather inspires me.**

**Next Update will be soon. Probably not tomorrow, but sometime during the week.**

**Listen to me, Review; I need to see your input. Oh and you need to tell me if Jacob should be arrested or not(:**

**Edward will be in the next chapter, I promise. Yay.**

**Xoxo Lea**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Just to put it out there: Edward fans/Jacob haters will love the outcome of this chapter x**

**Chapter Nine**

It was a long flight and I wasn't particularly partial to planes. Everything had happened so quick, changed so substantially in such a short amount of time. I thought back to when I first moved to Forks. I was the drama free, quiet new girl. I had no problems, no worries. And now I had to figure out if I wanted to press charges against my former best friend who tried to rape me.

Charlie called me after I got off my plane to see what I wanted to do.

I wasn't expecting Charlie to arrest Jacob considering he was best friends with Billy, but honestly, Charlie was doing a whole lot of nothing. And I was pissed about it.

"DAD!" I screamed into my phone as I walked out of the airplane terminal.

The people walking behind me jumped.

"HE RAPED ME! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?"

The people in front walked a little bit faster.

"I know Bells, but, I think that if I arrested him it would make you unhappy."

A petite lady dressed in blue greeted me at the gate, oblivious to my red face and acidic expression.

"Did you have a nice flight?" She said with a smile.

I just ignored her and yelled back at Charlie.

"Unhappy?!?! The only thing making me unhappy right now is that he is still ALIVE."

I heard Charlie sigh. I was practically in hysterics by the time I reached the baggage claim.

"I'll go and talk to him, okay?"

"IF THIS WAS ANYONE ELSE BESIDES JACOB YOU WOULD PUT HIS SORRY ARSE IN JAIL."

The people around me tried not to stare, but I knew what they were thinking. They all thought I was crazy. I was starting to think they were right.

I took a deep breath and tried to collect myself.

"I have to go," I said as I grabbed my bag off the belt. "I'll talk to you later, dad."

I didn't wait for his reply. I hung up and swung around, searching for Alice.

She appeared a minute later through the revolving doors of the airport.

Seeing her face made me forget everything, and I ran into her arms.

"Alice!" I squealed.

"Bella," she didn't seem as ecstatic as she usually did.

"Oh no, what's wrong?" I said.

Great, more problems.

"Nothing, I just…well I missed you. So much."

She seemed genuine.

"Oh Alice, I've missed you so much too. I made such a mistake, and I'm stupid, and I can't believe I did this, and ahhhh!"

Tears started spilling down my cheeks; she wiped them away.

"Don't cry Bella, please. It will all be okay," she hugged me into her stone chest. "Let's go out to breakfast and you can tell me everything."

I nodded and she grabbed my bag. She held onto me the whole way to the car.

"So," Alice said, smiling at me.

"So," I said back.

I stared out the window as we sped past the green woods. This place looked just like Forks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alice said, not trying to push. "You will have to at some time." She added.

"Jacob…" I paused, trying to figure out how to word what I wanted to say.

"Jacob kind of sort of tried to rape me."

Alice's serene expression turned sour.

"What? Like he actually…"

"He didn't go all the way," I said. "I bit him."

I heard the sweet sound of bells. God, I missed her laugh.

"Sorry for laughing," she said, trying to stifle her giggle.

"I made him bleed."

She laughed again; the sound made me smile.

"Oh Bella, what will we do with you?"

I was quiet for a moment while I thought of my next question carefully.

"Alice, will you please forgive me? I've done a lot of damage."

Her expression was calm again.

"Of course I will forgive you, Bella. You're like a sister to me, you know that."

I smiled at her.

"Okay Alice, I want the truth," I took a deep breath, "how bad is he?"

She shrugged and turned towards me.

"He's a big boy, Bella. He'll be fine."

She didn't answer my question. I gave her a worried look.

"He was pretty bad when you left. He just sat in his room all day buried under his covers. He wouldn't hunt, wouldn't talk to anyone. I really wanted to kick his butt."

"Sounds like me last September," I said with a shudder.

She placed a hand on my shoulder but didn't say anything else until we got to the restaurant.

I told her everything; the dreams, my internal voice, all the feelings. Poor Alice, I felt like I should be paying her for her services as my shrink.

"I told him to get over himself, but he kept saying that you were probably happy in Jacob's arms blah blah blah. He reads why too much into things."

"I was happy, at first. I thought he was what I wanted. Apparently I was wrong."

"I never liked Jacob," she added, "but I never thought he would do something like this."

"Me neither," I sighed back.

We were both quiet for a while. I shoved a forkful of eggs into my mouth and chewed. Alice just looked at me with a thoughtful expression.

"Bella, Edward doesn't know I'm here right now; no one does."

How was that even possible? Edward could hear her every thought.

"I've been going through hell trying to think about everything thing except you. It's a real pain, especially because I was so concerned about you."

"Alice, you didn't have to hide it from him. I'm so sorry."

"Bella, if he knew that you had been hurt…"

"He would kill Jacob," I finished her sentence.

"Exactly."

"You know," I looked up at her, "that wouldn't be such a bad thing right now."

Alice laughed, but I think she was secretly worried that I wasn't kidding.

I wasn't; not at all.

***

"I wonder how this is going to go," Alice said as we pulled onto a long, dirt drive.

"Woah," I said as we approached a huge gray house.

The house was bigger than the one in Forks was.

"I love this house," Alice said, answering my awe filled expression.

"Carlisle and Esme had it built a few years ago. Esme did most of the designing."

It had a lot of the same features as the one in Forks did. Huge window walls, a gigantic garage, a river flowing in the backyard. I immediately felt like I was home.

"I'm not sure how he is going to react, so, just stay calm."

I nodded. I didn't know how_ I_ was going to act, let alone him.

"Ready?" She took my hand and pushed open the front door.

Her expression changed completely, like she had let something go.

"He knows now."

Oh crap.

As I walked in the door five sets of eyes assessed me. Some widened, others sparkled.

Esme flew to my side and hugged me.

"Bella, what a surprise! We weren't expecting a visit."

"Nice to see you, Esme."

Carlisle got up and hugged me also.

"We missed you," he breathed into my hair.

Emmett flung himself off the couch and into the air.

"Hell yes! Now it won't be so boring." He messed up my hair and gave me a high five.

Rosalie feigned a less than thrilled smile, and Jasper waved.

"Where's Edward?" Alice said to Esme. "Is he upstairs?"

"No, he's out hunting actually."

"Good, we have time."

Alice took my hand and sat with me on the couch.

"Speak," she commanded me.

I took a deep breath and once more told my story to the five very analytical- and one not so analytical- vampire.

I edited the story a lot more than I did when I was telling it to Alice, knowing she would fill them in at some point.

It was a little embarrassing telling Carlisle how Jacob was on top of my trying to take my clothes off, but I knew he didn't mind. Everyone except Rosalie looked interested in what I was saying.

Rosalie sat in a white arm chair with a smug look. Her hair was up in a bun and little strands of curly blonde hair were falling loosely out of it. Her beauty still left me breathless.

"So that's it," I said with a sigh. Esme, who was sitting beside me, embraced me tightly and wiped a tear off my cheek that I wasn't aware I had shed.

"Oh hunny," she said, still holding me.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. I feel awful because of it."

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, we understand why you would feel that way but please don't. Everything happens for a reason. Nobody is mad."

"Hmph!" Rosalie laughed sarcastically.

"Rose," Esme chided.

"No Esme, she should know."

Rosalie got out of the chair and walked up to me.

"Edward wasn't okay Bella. All he did way lie in bed and sulk. It was worse than when he left you last year, way worse. You should feel bad, honestly. After everything he's done for you, how could you leave him for that stupid teenage _dog_?"

Nobody spoke. They were either too shocked or too scared of Rosalie to answer.

Scared or not, I really didn't need her apathy.

"Don't think I don't know how it feels Rosalie, because I do. There is not one fiber of my being that doesn't regret what I did. I was stupid, and I don't know what I was thinking. I was just…confused. So much happened so quickly, I just- I wanted to be normal again…"

I was sobbing uncontrollably by this point. I had gotten off the couch and was standing in front of Rose.

"But I realized something," I continued. I took a step forward so that I could smell her sweet breath. "I don't want normal, ever. I want Edward."

For once, Rosalie had no comeback. She just stared at me, and I stared back through watery eyes.

Then something happened that I didn't think was possible.

_Rosalie hugged me._

"I thought for sure she would slap her," I heard Emmett mumble to Jasper behind me.

"Errr, thanks." I muttered to Rose.

Rosalie pursed her lips and gave a little nod and then walked out of the room.

"Rosalie doesn't hug." Alice said incredulously.

Everyone just stared at each other, still not saying a word.

"Okay, well, this has been awkward and humiliating to the highest degree," I said heading for the door.

"I think I need some air."

The mid afternoon sun was faintly trying to break out of the clouds unsuccessfully. It wasn't cold, but I was shivering. I spied a little swing on the side of the Cullen's front yard and I sauntered over to it.

It was a pale, white wooden swing attached to some higher branches in a pine tree. I sat down and grabbed its cold, metal chains. I calmly let myself swivel backwards and forwards, dangling my feet to the earth. I felt like I was a little kid again, and I vehemently wished it was true.

But there was something I wanted more than to be an innocent little girl; and that was Edward.

As I swung, I started to cry again. It wasn't for any particular reason, I just needed to cry. I saw my reflection in one of the lower window walls.

The person emulated back at me was not someone I recognized. Her cheeks were bright red and puffy, with big brown tear-filled eyes. Her hair flowed down her shoulders in long, soft tendrils. She looked so beautiful when she cried; it scared me.

I wiped my tears away and looked at the ground, I needed to compose myself. Any moment one of the Cullens would come out and tell me that none of this is my fault and that it would all be okay.

But it was my fault. It didn't matter what they said, this was all because of me. I had the power to destroy someone's life, the power to keep someone who truly loved me at an arm's length; it wasn't alright. I picked and choose who I wanted to love based on my feelings that day, based on my preference. I couldn't have both Edward and Jacob, but yet I still tried.

I needed to stop trying. I couldn't make them both happy. Someone would get hurt, no matter what.

So who did I want to hurt more?

It hardly seemed like a humane question to ask, but it was the truth. I loved Edward more than I would ever love Jacob. **Ever**.

I had to hurt Jacob to be with Edward, and suddenly I was okay with that reasoning.

Time would heal all wounds, Jacob would survive. And someday, he would find his true love.

I took my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Jacob's number.

He didn't answer.

_**Hi, you've reached Jacob. Leave a message, kay? Bye**_

I smiled at his nonchalant message tone.

"Jake, it's me. I'm sorry, for everything. I shouldn't have picked you over Edward because truth is, I love him more. You were nothing but amazing to me, and all I did was hurt you- I'm _still_ hurting you, and it needs to end. Thank you for everything you have showed me; the wolves, riding on your back through the woods, cliff diving, motorcycles, all of it. I hope you find the most beautiful girl in the world, someone that actually deserves you. Well, okay, I guess that's all. Err, bye."

I was helplessly shaking when I pressed the end button. But a wave of relief washed over me. It was over. My mind was made up and I had a clear insight of what I wanted- well actually, who I wanted.

"Edward," I breathed his name into the air thinking I was alone.

"Bella," a smooth, velvet voice came from behind me; it made every nerve in my body come alive.

**Okay, don't kill me. Last time I promised you Edward, and well at least you got the Cullens.**

**He will definitely be in the next chapter in full, I swear on Rob's beautiful hair.**

**Okay, the reviews have been making me feel so inspired. Thank you so much guys for everything.**

**But do me a favor and review this one too.**

**Update either sometime this week or on the weekend; it depends on my schedule, AKA how many tests my teachers give me.**

**Oh, and I hope all you Jacob haters are satisfied; I know I am.**

**Xoxo Lea xx**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

I jumped off the swing and turned around. There, Edward stood like the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. His hair was a delicious disarray of bronze, and his gold eyes beamed.

I wanted to reach out, just to touch him for one moment. But like in my dream, I couldn't move my arms.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I waited for him to speak. He didn't. I swallowed hard and opened my mouth, but a new wave of hysteria washed over me and I dropped to my knees.

"Oh Edward!" I cried, covering my face with my hands.

He extended his long arm towards me, urging me to take it. I touched his icy fingers, and in one fluid motion I was cradled in his arms. I laid my head on his chest as grotesque cries wracked my body.

"Shhh, Isabella," he murmured into my ear, smoothing my hair with his palm.

"But, but…" I stuttered, "Aren't you mad at me? I did such an awful thing."

"I could never be mad at you," he paused and put his fingers under my chin, making me look at him.

"I love you, Bella."

He wiped away my tears with the back of his hand.

I loved him so much too, but something inside of me was not satisfied with his answer.

"You're not…mad?"

He shook his head and kissed my forehead.

"Of course not, I'm just happy you're here…in my arms."

I shook my head incredulously. I couldn't believe it but, I _wanted _him to be angry. I wiggled out of his hold and he placed me on the ground.

"Bella, what's wrong?!"

"Edward," I groaned. "Can't you see? I want you to yell at me, and tell me I did a rotten, terrible thing."

He cocked his head to one side and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't understand. You…want me to make you beg?"

"Yes,"

He didn't say anything back; he just stood there looking beautiful and confused.

I got down on my knees once more, letting myself sink into the damp earth.

"Bella, don't,"

I didn't listen to him.

"Edward, I feel so disgusted with myself for all of this. The guilt is too much to take, and I was counting on your reaction to give me some gratification. But what do you give me? 'Oh Bella it's okay. Oh no, I'm not mad and I understand,'"

He looked down at me with bereaved eyes.

"I don't want you to understand. **Make me beg**."

He was quiet for a really long time but finally, he nodded.

I placed my hands together like I was praying and looked up into his deep, unfathomable gold eyes.

"Edward Cullen, I am atrocious. I've hurt you so much. I do not deserve your love, I am simply unworthy; but Edward, I am selfish. I need you, forever, always. I thought I realized that long ago, but I was stupid and ignorant of what I had. Please Edward, take me back. Accept my apology, and if I ever am commendable enough again to be with you, love me."

Before I could take another breath Edward was on the ground, his lips fervently on mine.

"I accept."

He breathed the sweet words into my mouth, and every muscle in my stomach clenched and I felt a feeling I hadn't felt since I left Edward- desire.

I never wanted the kiss to end. I intertwined my fingers in his hair, pressing him closer to me. He picked me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist and my arms locked around his neck.

"Oh, Edward," I wailed.

He held me even tighter, crushing me into him. My body heat against his gelid chest was just too much to take. The kiss wasn't enough; I wanted more, so much more. But I wasn't exactly sure if he would give me _that._

I traced his lip with my tongue, and I let his cool breath fill my mouth. The only thing I felt was longing. I moaned.

"I know," he sighed as he trailed kisses down the length of my jaw. "I want you too, but the risks still are the same."

I knew he would say that, and I wasn't even mad; it made me smile.

He reached my neck and I could feel his sharp, perfect teeth caress my bare skin.

Dear God I wanted him to bite me.

But he didn't. He pulled away with a chuckle.

"Ah Bella, what you do to me."

"I love you Edward Anthony Cullen. I love you more than I could ever love anyone else."

His responding crooked smiled nearly stopped my heart.

"You have no idea what those words mean to me."

I started to speak, aiming to say something like 'yes, I do.' But my damn cell phone rang.

"Charlie's calling- answer it." Alice yelled out the front door.

I pouted. Great, well the moment was ruined.

I flipped open my phone and before I could even put my ear on the receiver I heard Charlie yelling. 

"No, STOP. No no no! DO NOT TOUCH THAT. What the hell!?"

"Hello! Dad?"

"JACOB GET OUT NOW."

"DAD." I yelled into the phone.

"Bella! Thank God you answered!"

"Dad! What's wrong?"

Charlie let out a long sigh.

"I think Jacob's gone crazy."

I saw Edward's amused smile. I really didn't want to discuss the inner workings of a bratty teenage werewolf right now.

"Okay, what would you like me to do about that, Charlie?" I said sarcastically.

"Can you talk to him? I think you are the only person who can calm him down."

There was no way I wanted to talk to him.

"What is he doing, dad?"

"Well, Bella," Charlie said seeming annoyed. "He burst into the house about five minutes ago and just ran up to your room. When I went upstairs to see what was going on, he was running around your room like a mad man muttering something about 'those filthy bloodsucking leeches.'"

Edwards smile got even wider.

"Dammit,"

"NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT I WOULDN'T TOUCH IT!" My dad bellowed.

God, what was he touching?

"Bella….is there any specific reason you have a card that says 'New Hampshire' in your bedside table?"

"AH HA!" I heard Jacob exclaim in the background. "IT SMELLS JUST LIKE THE LEECH!"

"Dad…" I said warily. "You didn't tell Jacob where I am…right?"

"No, but he's been trying to get it out of me since I told him you were gone."

"NICE TRY CHARLIE BUT I FIGURED IT OUT!" I heard Jacob scream.

"JEEZE JACOB! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET OUT. I'M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!"

"DAD! YOU ARE THE COPS," I shouted into the phone.

I could barely hear Charlie over Jacob in the background, but whatever Jacob had figured out, I'm sure it had something to do with my location.

"SO THE BLOOD SUCKERS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE HMM? WELL THEN."

"NO." I shouted into the phone.

"Bella, uhm, I think I should go. Jacob may possibly be foaming at the mouth…"

The line disconnected and I stood frozen.

"EDWARD, HE'S COMING HERE!"

Edward laughed.

"Calm down Bella. New Hampshire is a fairly large state. The chances of him actually finding us are slim."

He placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Come, let's go inside. It's going to get dark soon."

Edward took my hand and led me inside.

***

"Bella, hunny, you must be starving."

Almost as if on cue, my stomach growled.

"What would you like to eat, dear?"

She got off the love seat and made for the kitchen.

"Esme, really, you don't have to make me anything. I'll do it."

I knew how slightly repulsive human food was to vampires.

I went to the fridge and picked out what looked good. For people that didn't eat, they sure did have a lot of food.

I settled on a turkey sandwich and went to sit at the wrought iron kitchen table; Edward sat with me.

"Long day?" He said as I yawned.

With a mouth full of turkey, I nodded.

"I've got to go back to Forks," I said peeking up at him. Hoping he didn't take my words the wrong way.

"Charlie is going to start to get worried," I added.

He was thoughtful for a moment, running his fingers through his hair.

"I suppose you are right. I wouldn't want Charlie to dislike me anymore than he already does."

I rolled my eyes and Edward smiled.

"He doesn't hate you, Edward. Actually, I think he likes you a lot better right now than he likes a certain teenage werewolf."

Edward raised an eyebrow, trying to be nonchalant- but I saw his fists clench together tightly.

"I wanted you to kill him,"

Edward looked at me quizzically and laughed a bit.

"When it first happened, all I could think about was 'wait until Edward hears about this.'"

"Why didn't you say something earlier? We would have been on the first flight back to Washington," he said playfully.

"That's exactly why. Because I knew you would do it."

He took my hands and placed one on his cheek.

"I would do anything for you, Bella."

I immediately forget what I was about to say, or where I was. My cheeks blushed a deep red and my breathing quickened.

Edward knew the effect he had on me and he dropped my hands from his face, urging me to finish my food. Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry.

"Eh hem," he cleared his throat, bringing me out of my reverie.

"I'll go make the preparations for a flight back to Forks. How would tomorrow morning be?"

"Anything you want is fine with me."

He didn't know how true those words were.

"I'll be upstairs if you need me. Feel free to come up and join me whenever,"

Me in his room, all alone? YES.

"Okay," I said, batting my eyelashes at him.

I watched as he walked to the bottom of the staircase. I watched how his pants clung to his hips in the most delicious way…

Eat Bella, eat. I had to remind myself to stay focused.

After my dinner, I decided to take Edward up on his offer and go upstairs.

I walked up the huge marble staircase and was presented with two huge hallways, all lined with white wooden doors.

"In here," I heard Edward call from down the hall, and then saw him pop his glorious head out from around the door frame.

As I approached his room my stomach suddenly was filled with butterflies.

"I just bought the tickets," he said leaning down to kiss me as I stepped through the door.

His room was a light gold color, not far off from the color of his eyes. The floor was a dark wood and he had a large collection of books against one of the walls. A large, black leather sofa was pushed up against one of the window walls just like in Forks.

I brought myself back into reality.

"Thanks, I'd better call Charlie and let him know," I said getting out my phone.

Edward took the phone right out of my hands and placed it on his desk.

"I have a better idea," he said in the most appealing voice anyone had ever spoken in.

He bent down so that he was his face was level with mine and he let out a long, drawn out sigh. My head swam as I inhaled his appetizing scent.

"I missed you so much Bella," he laced his fingers in my hair. "I thought I had lost you forever. The thought was wretched."

He pressed his cool lips to mine and I wrapped one arm around his neck, letting the other one trail along his perfect chest. I wanted every inch of him.

I wanted to grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off, but I knew what he would say: 'Oh Bella, always so eager for me to kill you.' Then he would laugh and end the kiss, and we wouldn't want that would we?

"Knock knock!" Alice was at the door.

Edward ignored her and just kept kissing me. It made us both laugh; I could feel his chuckle of amusement vibrate inside my mouth.

Alice still hadn't left.

"Go away," he murmured as I gasped for air.

"Alice, I can read your mind, remember? It's not _that_ important. Now go away."

"But Bella needs to know too."

He kissed the tip of my nose and then looked at Alice.

"Do you want me to tell her, Edward?"

"Dammit, what is it? We were a little busy Alice!"

"Oh, Bella," she said a bit exasperated.

"Alice would like me to tell you that your future just disappeared."

Was he kidding?

"But I've already decided! I never want to see Jacob again, and I hadn't made any plans to."

My phone rang and I looked up at Edward. He got it off his desk and handed it to me.

"Hello?"

I knew who it was going to be.

"Bella! Thank God you answered! I wasn't sure if you would. How are you?"

He was acting like nothing ever happened and it made me ridiculously mad.

Two could play at this game.

"Oh nothing, just standing here kissing Edward. You?"

Alice shook her head and Edward tried to not look amused.

I heard a string of profanities on the other line.

"Why did you just tell me that, Isabella?"

He used my full name, he was chiding me. I wasn't a little kid, and he had no right to treat me like one. It only made me angry.

"Well, why did you rape me?"

I turned my back to Edward's horrified but divert face. I went to sit down on the leather sofa.

"I did not rape you."

"UHMMMMMMMMMMMMM, really? So you getting on top of me and trying to take my clothes off without my permission was what exactly?"

I felt a twinge of sadness in the pit of my stomach for what I was saying to him, but I ignored it. He needed to hear what it.

"You know I didn't mean for it to be like that, Bells."

"You no longer have permission to call me that, dog." I growled.

"When will you come home?" his voice sounded weak and far away.

"I'm not sure," I fumed.

"Time's up!" A voice shouted in the background.

"Listen Bella, I've got to go. I'm really really sorry. I won't bother you again. Bye."

The line went dead. I wondered where he was.

"Rosalie respects you a little bit more now," Edward said when I turned to face him.

"Why?"

I never thought the words Rosalie and respect could be in the same sentence.

"She never realized how harsh you could be. You actually made her laugh a bit."

"Hmm, well I'm glad my anger could be a source of joy for her."

Edward touched my pouted lips with one of his fingers.

"Please smile," he said.

I tried to form the best one I could, but Edward laughed when it was only a wry grimace.

"Don't fret about Jacob, love. He will be okay."

"To tell you the truth Edward, I don't really care if he is okay or not."

Edward draped an arm around my shoulders and hugged me tight.

"Yes you do."

Okay, yes I did.

"I understand why you chose him Bella," he whispered into my ear. "But what you do not understand is how happy I am that you are here right now."

"I'm not going anywhere ever again." I promised.

And that was the truth. No more games, no more figuring things out. I was Edward's for eternity and nobody could ever change that.

**Yay! Finally Edward. Told you so.**

**An eternity worth of thanks for your reviews! I love them. **

**Next update will be sometime over the weekend. I need to get inspired.**

**Review please my darlings.**

**Xx Lea**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

That night I didn't sleep as well as I thought I would. Thoughts of Jacob, blurs of Edward, Forks, New Hampshire, Charlie…pictures swirled in my head.

Edward noticed my discomfort and pressed me closer to him.

"Isabella," he purred into my ear, "please get some sleep, we have a flight in the morning."

His every word sent shivers up my spine. He started humming my lullaby, and by the time five minutes had past, I was asleep.

I awoke to light kisses trailing down my neck, around my forehead, on the tip of my nose. My lips fluttered open and above me was a glorious set of warm gold eyes followed by a little, perfect smile.

"Are you ready to go home?" he whispered.

"Wherever you are is home to me." Wow, that sounded corny even to my own ears.

"Oh Bella," he chuckled.

He kissed my cheek one last time and headed for the door.

"Come down when you are ready," he said from the doorway. "I'll be in the great room."

He left and I looked around the room in search of my bag full of clothing, but I couldn't find it. All I saw was a set of gray tights and a blue knit dress folded on top of the dresser.

"Alice," I scowled under my breath.

I awkwardly put each leg into the tights and then slipped on the dress. I walked into the little bathroom connected to Edward's room and looked in the mirror. My hair was sticking up in ten different directions. I took the brush that way lying on the granite counter and tried to untangle the mess. Eventually it complied and I headed out of his room and descended down the staircase.

When I walked into the great room six vampires smiled at me.

"I told you she would like the dress," Alice nudged Edward in the ribs with her elbow.

"Just because I'm not complaining doesn't mean I like it," I said back with a mock grimace.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me and handed me a pair of blue flats.

"These will fit perfectly,"

Alice gave me a kiss on the forehead and then a hug.

"I'm going to miss you,"

I looked at her confused. What did she mean?

"You're not coming back to Forks?"

"Actually Bella," Edward said grasping my hand. "They've decided to stay for a bit."

"We need a break from all the rain." Alice said ruffling my hair playfully.

"It's going to be weird not having you guys around,"

Esme chuckled a little and smiled. "We won't be gone forever, Bella; only for a few weeks. I'm having some tiling be put in upstairs, and I want to be here when it's done. Everyone else is just staying because they please. I would offer you to stay, but I'm sure it's best to let Charlie know you are okay."

"Thank you, Esme. You know I would stay if I could." I said while giving her a hug.

Alice shot a look at the clock above the fireplace.

"You should get going. You wouldn't want to miss your flight."

Edward picked up a backpack from the ground and slung it over his shoulder and then grabbed my duffle bag off of the coffee table.

All but one of them got up to give me a hug. Rosalie stood in the doorway staring at me. I wasn't sure what to say to her.

"Bye guys!"

"Bye Bella."

Rosalie still said nothing. I walked up to her and bit my bottom lip.

"Uhm, well…bye Rosalie,"

She shrugged and gave me a light hug, taking me by surprise.

"See you around," she said and then cleared her throat.

"Oh, and sorry." She whispered.

I gave her a warm smile and then followed Edward out to the Volvo.

This flight was different than the last one I had been on. I leaned against Edward and I had no fears. Last time I had been on a plane, I was anxious and confused, but this time all I felt was love. The flight was over quickly and before I knew it I was walking up to Charlie's front door with Edward at my side.

The door swung open and a very happy Charlie embraced me.

"Hi dad,"

"Hi, Bells. I missed you."

"Missed you too dad."

"Good afternoon Edward," my dad said with a nod. He seemed way too polite.

"Charlie," Edward said with a grin.

Edward started to chuckle quietly and I shot him a glance. Apparently I didn't get the joke.

"So how was the flight, kids?"

"Long, but good," I said looking directly at the reason why it was so good. He seemed to still be amused.

"I'm going to go unpack, okay dad?"

"Mhm," he grumbled and went to go sit down on the couch.

When we got upstairs, I pulled Edward by the shirt and collapsed with him onto my bed, turning myself so that I was facing him.

"Why were you laughing?"

He wound a strand of my hair around his finger. "I don't know if I should tell you. Charlie may want to tell you himself."

"What could he possibly want to tell me that he didn't five seconds ago?"

Edward smiled and brushed his palm against my cheekbone.

"He didn't want to tell you with me standing right there."

"Well that's ridiculous!" I half shouted.

I got off the bed and threw my hands into the air.

"Whatever he can say to me, he can say to you."

"Bella, it's no big deal."

"It's the moral of it, Edward. You and me are kind of a package deal, you know? He needs to know that."

"Oh Bella," Edward chuckled.

He walked over to me and cupped his hand around the back of my neck.

"You make the dull days in Forks brighter."

"Right," I said sarcastically; he laughed.

He kissed me for a moment and then released me.

"Charlie's coming; he wants to talk to you alone. Shall I pick you up later?"

"Oh yes, I highly believe that Charlie will agree to letting his barely legal adult daughter spend the night at her boyfriend's house without any parental supervision."

He smiled. "Okay, as soon as his head hits the pillow tonight, I'll be here."

"I'll leave the window open extra wide," I winked.

Edward leaned in and kissed my hair just as there was a light knock on my door.

"See you later," he murmured, making for the door.

Charlie cautiously peered in, hoping we weren't doing anything he wouldn't approve of.

"Charlie, it's been wonderful seeing you again. I have to go home and do a little unpacking myself. Enjoy your evening," then he looked at me, "Isabella, enjoy your evening as well."

"Bye," I smiled. Charlie nodded.

"Bella," Charlie said shutting the door and sinking into my wooden rocking chair by the window.

"What is it dad?" I tried to sound nonchalant, but I really was burning to find out what it was that he couldn't say in front of Edward.

"Well, uhm…"

"Just spit it out, dad."

"Jacob is in jail right now."

I said the first response that came to mind.

"Good."

"Bella, that's not very like you. I don't like that kind of behavior from you."

"Well I don't like stupid 16 year old boys on top of me, so we're even." I glowered at him.

"I understand that you are mad, you have every right to be but-"

"Yes, I absolutely do." I cut him off.

"I think that Jacob really needs some help, Bella. He's not himself anymore."

What did he want me to say? "_Oh poor Jacob, I'll give him a big hug and make everything better._ " Yeah right.

"What do you want me to do, Dad?"

"Come with me down to the precinct. He's in one of the holding cells and I told him I would come get him out later." Charlie looked up at me with wary eyes.

"So, he's not even in actual jail?"

"Well…no. He was going crazy and threatening to kill Edward, so I had to do s_omething_. But actual prison seemed a little extreme."

"Kill Edward? HA."

I fell onto my bed belly side up as shaky laughs jolted through me.

"That stupid," I gasped for air. "Stupid wolf thinks he could beat up Edward!" I cupped my hands over my mouth trying to stabilize myself.

"Stupid what? Did you just call Jacob a wolf?"

Uh oh…

I whipped the tears from my eyes and took deep breathes, still amused.

"Why would I call Jacob a wolf? That's silly."

Dear God I was a horrid liar.

Charlie just ignored it and got up off of the chair.

"Please come with me."

"Why dad, how would me coming make anything better?"

"Bella, he's your best friend, and he is going through a hard time."

"You make it seem like nothing happened at all and it's all 'oh poor Jacob' all the time! What about me?"

"Why do you have to be so selfish Isabella Marie?"

I had never heard Charlie use my full name like that. It actually scared me a bit.

"Yes, Jacob did something very bad to you, but it's not like he is some random man. Jacob loves you, Bella and he would never try to intentionally do something to hurt you. You send the boy so many mixed messages for God's sake! One moment you're kissing him, and the next thing you, know you're back with Edward. I never worried about Edward because he is more mature than Jacob could ever be, I knew that; he can take care of himself. But Bella, Jacob is just a kid. You've really hurt him, Isabella. The poor kid's heart is shattered."

I sat on my bed for a long moment as I digested everything Charlie had just said. I knew I had hurt him, but I always thought Jacob was strong enough to fix himself up, repair each wound I had given him. That's how it was for me, anyways. When I had Edward there was no pain, everything bad seemed to vanish. But Jacob didn't have someone like that, someone that made him feel loved and happy; his problems wouldn't just go away.

"Bella?" Charlie tried to get my attention.

"Yeah, I'll go."

"Good, I'll meet you down in the car."

I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper out of my nightstand and wrote Edward a note in case he came to see where I was.

I left the note on my bed and went to get in the cruiser with Charlie.

When we got to the police station Charlie was greeted by many fellow officers.

"Here to pick up that kid?" Deputy Shawn asked. He seemed grateful to get rid of him.

"Has he been trouble?"

"Nah, not really. He's just really strong, and he keeps shaking. I swear it's the oddest thing I've ever seen."

Uh oh, what if he sees me and gets mad? Would he phase right in from of Charlie?

"Dad, I think I should go in and talk to him alone."

"I think that would be a good idea, Bella. Calm him down some."

Deputy Shawn led me to a metal door at the end of a big hallway. He unlocked the door and pointed to a cell at the end of a row of three.

"No one else is in there, so don't be scared."

I nodded and walked in, examining everything that was around me. The small strand of holding cells hardly seemed like a place I would imagine Jacob in. I stopped in front of the cell that held Jacob and gasped. He was sitting on the floor with his head in this knee's. He was shaking and mumbling things to himself.

"Jacob," I breathed.

Jacob slowly looked up and then put his head down again.

"So have you come to yell at me s'more? Or, let me guess; you came tell me the next installment to you and the leaches love fest. Marriage? Kids?"

"You know I can't have kids with him," I grinned.

"What do you want, Bella?" His voice sounded too cold to belong to him.

"We're getting you out of this place. Come on."

"Why? Would you rather rip me to shreds somewhere else?"

"Jacob, I didn't come here to yell at you. Charlie wanted me to make sure you were okay."

Jacob snorted and stood up. I held onto the hard, metal bars and watched as he walked over to me. He leaned his head against the cell gate and held onto the bars right above where my hands were.

"You don't need to worry about me, Bella. I'm no one's responsibility; especially not yours."

His words hit me like bullets through the chest.

"You know I never meant to hurt you. I realize now that I can't have both of you."

"What did you think would come out of all of this, Bella? You could just chose whoever you wanted when it was convenient for you and nobody would get hurt? That's the stupidest plan I have ever heard."

"I know, Jacob. I'm a terrible person."

"No, you don't know. Actually you don't even know half of it. I was going to kill him, Bella. I didn't even care if he killed me in the process. I want to die."

Silent tears streamed down my flaming cheeks.

"He always had you, Bella. Even when he left in September, he knew you would never get over him."

My throat felt like it was on fire. "He just wanted me to be normal."

Jacob smiled, but it wasn't one of happiness. It was full of hatred.

"You've never been normal." He said.

Jacob shook his head.

"Bella, you're a bitch- a cold, selfish, vampire loving bitch. I'm glad you're becoming a vampire, it may work out for me- you know, you being dead and all."

My tears abruptly stopped and it felt like all the blood in my body was frozen.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, I won't bother you again. I hope you meet a nice girl and have a very happy life."

I turned and walked out; Jacob didn't say a word as I left.

"Hey Bells, how did it go?" Charlie said rising from his desk.

"Go let him out, Dad." My voice was like ice.

"Bella, do you want to talk about this?"

I went to the doors of the station and half stepped outside before saying anything more.

"I'm 18 now, so I can make my own choices. I'm staying with Edward tonight."

I left before I heard his answer.

I started down the road and mentally calculated how far Edward's house was. It surely could only be a few miles away. Normally, in a situation like this I would be quivering with sobs, but I had no more tears to shed on Jacob Black's behalf. He said what he needed to, and now it was over.

I wasn't even walking for a whole five minutes before a silver Volvo pulled off of the road in front of me.

He picked me up and placed me into the car without saying a word. He got into the driver's side and got back onto the road.

"Alice called me about ten minutes ago, she saw you wondering down the road."

"Got to love Alice."

"I hate seeing you hurt."

"I know, I'm sorry. You don't deserve to see me this way."

"Don't worry about me, Bella. I just want to make sure you are okay."

"Jacob called me a bitch and told me he would be happy when I was dead."

Edward's hands tightening around the steering wheel with such force that I thought he was going to snap it in two.

"I'm going back there right now to kill him."

Edward pulled off the side of the road again and started to turn around. He was the most angry I have ever seen him. But instead of pulling into the parking lot of the police station, he kept going. I didn't ask what he was going to do. We eventually got to my house, but Edward didn't shut the car off. He got out and opened the passenger side door.

"You can stay here, or you can take your truck and meet me at my house. Whatever you wish to do is fine with me."

"Edward, what are you going to do?" I said in a flat voice. I had no energy left in me.

"I just need to talk to Jacob."

_**Talk.**_

I watched him get back into his car and drive off. I was no longer responsible for anything that was going to happen. All I knew was that Edward would win.

I saw his beautiful face one last time before he left my driveway. It was dark, and his eyes alluded that he wasn't going to see Jacob just to talk.

What scared me the most is that I didn't stop him.

**Woah, I know… intense. Sorry I haven't updated for a while; I've been so busy. But was it worth waiting for? I hope you think so. **

**I always listen to music while I write, and for this chapter, most of the songs involved the word "hate" in the titles. That's a tip by the way; music helps when you're writing.**

**Next chapter is going to be in Edward's point of view, maybe half Edward and half Bella. I'm not entirely sure yet.**

**So pleaseeeeeee tell me what you thought and as always, review. It means a lot to me. This was sort of a heavy chapter, but I loved writing it. Should Edward kill Jacob? You tell me.**

**Next update will be soon. I have stupid high school almost-the-end-of-the-school-year-testing so it's going to be another busy week. Okay that's enough of long author notes. I'll update soon. **

**Xoxo Leanne.**

**Ps: review**


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve**

**EPOV***

I wasn't beyond killing someone, even though I could bet that Bella would think that I wasn't capable of it. She had me on such a pedestal, held me in adulation like I was some perfect man. If only she could read my thoughts, she would see that I have a dark side. I hadn't killed a human in over 60 years, but would my record be tarnished if I murdered a dog? It was hardly a question I could ask Carlisle.

I pushed my car harder as I raced down the 101. I let my mind scan the forests, trying to pick up a trace of the dog's mind-but I found nothing. It had just started to rain as I pulled into the police station. Charlie was shuffling to his cruiser. I slammed the car into park and jumped out, Charlie stopped and stared at me; his thoughts were filled with a mix of fear and concern.

"Edward, is Bella okay?"

"Yes, Bella is perfect. Do you know where Jacob may be by any chance?"

"No, I don't. He left about ten minutes ago."

His mouth said no but his thoughts said something different.

Jacob had run into the woods just sound of the station.

"Edward…" Charlie was refusing to look into my eyes. "Why are you looking for Jacob?"

His mind flooded with a thousand different scenarios, all of which contained me and a lot of violence.

"I just had to tell him something, no cause for alarm. Now, if you'll excuse me,"

I started to walk back towards the car. Charlie nodded at me.

"And Edward," I turned around. "Please try to keep it civil. Jacob's just a little kid."

I smiled darkly. Ha, a little kid. Yeah a little kid that was about to die.

"I'll take that in consideration, thank you Charlie."

I parked my car on the side of the road a few miles from the police station. I could smell the dog, and I knew that I was getting closer to finding him. I ran through the forest as rain splattered onto my forehead, only adding to my rush. The adrenaline surged through me, each pump pushing me further; getting me closer. I didn't want a fight, but I would fight for what I loved. Bella's words echoed inside my head:

"_Jacob called me a bitch and told me he would be happy when I was dead."_

It didn't matter what he said to me, I could handle it. But Bella was fragile and he knew that. She knew where I was going when I left her driveway and she knew what I wanted to do, but she didn't stop me. Jacob had broken her and I couldn't handle it-not after what I did to her. I cringed at the memory. Bella had been spared seeing how pathetic I was during our separation, but I couldn't escape Alice's perfect pictures of Bella that she had stored inside her head for all of eternity.

As I ran further south, getting closer to the Quileute border, I started to hear Jacob's thoughts swirl around in my head.

_I wonder what Billy would say? It would all be so sudden. I don't know if I could put him through that. Dammit, why do I care? He can't solve my stinking problems, no one can. _

_Alright Jacob, option numero Uno: Wait, why did I just say that in Spanish? Arrg, focus Black. Option one: Tell her that I'm sorry and stinkin' move on already…._

_Impossible._

_Option two: How can a wolf kill himself? Well I know one way…provoke his mortal enemy._

I wanted to tune Jacob out, but I couldn't. So he wanted me to kill him? I would happily do it, but there was one factor stopping me from breaking through the small circle of trees where I stood and engage in ripping his throat out- Bella.

She might not realize how it would affect her right away, but someday it would hit her, and I would not want to be the cause for any more of her pain.

The wind blew slightly and I knew Jacob could smell me.

_Where is he?_

In his mind I saw him scan the trees.

_Good Bloodsucker, you're just the person I needed to see._

I moved out of my temporary hiding spot and approached him. Jacob started to laugh.

"You do not even know how happy I am to see you right now, leech."

"Jacob," I nodded.

"I need to ask you a little favor, if you don't mind?"

Jacob stared at me with a dark smile, his lips parted slightly. His pupils dilated and I heard his sharp intake of breath.

In his mind, he let everything he had been trying to keep locked up flow out, filling every corner of his brain. With the images came every emotion he felt. Jacob kept his vacant façade, but he knew that I could hear everything.

Finally I spoke. "What can I do for you, Jacob?"

He ran his fingers through his thick black hair, and then placed his hand on the back of his neck.

"Option Two."

I wasn't surprised at what he said.

"Jacob, I can't. I wanted to, after what you said to Bella, but, you're not thinking clearly right now,"

He took a step closer to me. "I usually want my victims to be nice and mentally aware before I kill them," I teased.

"I'm fine. I **want **you to kill me."

"I won't do it."

Jacob just asked me to kill him-words I have been waiting to hear since I met him- and I rejected him? What is wrong with me?

"Pretend I was a nice, delicious human okay? I don't care what you pretend I am. I just want to die."

Jacob grabbed hold of the top of my shirt and pleaded.

"I…I can't. It would hurt Bella too much."

"Bella doesn't care."

I stared him right in the eyes.

"She cares so much you wouldn't even understand."

Jacob was about to protest when my phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and looked at the number.

"Love, is everything okay?"

Jacob's face hardened.

"Edward, I have been thinking and I think I should move in with you."

"Bella, I would love that. But could we discuss this when I return home in a bit? I'm a little occupied at the moment."

"Okay… what are you doing?"

"I'm having a little talk with Jacob."

Bella paused.

"Oh well in that case, please continue with whatever you were about to do."

"Talking Bella, I'm just talking."

"Sure. Talking. Kick his ass. Oh wait, I mean, have a nice chat. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and I looked back at Jacob, his expression hadn't changed.

"Well dog, as much as I would love to kill you I don't believe that this is neither the time nor the place. Goodbye."

I turned around and I heard a light thud sound. I looked back at Jacob; he was on the ground, his knees sinking into the damp leaves.

"Edward, please."

He looked so helpless on the ground before me, all the acrimony in his eyes were gone.

"Jacob, I can't. I-,"

I struggled with the words I wanted to say. He was so weak, something I would have never thought Jacob to be.

"She was everything," he whispered, looking down. "My life, my reason for breathing; surly you can understand that. But Edward, she made her choice, and it's something I can't live with."

He closed his eyes, tight. Slowly a tear ran down his dark cheek. Jacob crying was not something I ever wanted to see.

"I know the pain; I've had all these feelings. When she choose you…"

I paused and shook my head, recalling everything I had been trying hard to forget.

"…And when I left her, the pain was unbearable. All I wanted was for it to go away. Death was on my mind more often than it should have been." It was hard to say these things to the man who once wanted to take away my reason for living.

"I remember the first time I saw her, down at First Beach with her friends; she took my breath away. Bella is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Then I found out that I was competing with you," Jacob laughed, but I could hear the hurt in his husky voice.

"We've said a lot of things to each other haven't we Jacob?"

We both nodded, and he bit his bottom lip.

"All I ever wanted was her, but all she ever wanted was you."

"She chose you one time, remember?" I said.

Jacob stood up and sniffled, trying his best to hold his tears in.

"It doesn't matter what she does, what she says- she's always loved you more. I'm just the stupid wolf boy from the reservation with a crush on the vampire girl."

"You were here best friend, you kept her whole when I failed to. And to that, I will always be grateful."

His eyes were dead, not a trace of life hidden in their aphotic pupils.

"Death seems like the easiest option, doesn't it? But what will that solve- leaving Billy behind, Rachel and Rebecca- the pack won't know what to do."

"I just don't want to feel anymore." His words weren't more than whispers, but somehow it made them seem more prominent.

"I know everything you are feeling, and although I have her now, I do know what it feels like to lose her. But I can't kill you, Jacob. I came here today to do exactly as you asked, I wanted you to never take another breath, but now that I've seen this," I gestured towards him. "I just can't."

The rain started pouring down harder, beating angrily against the green leaves in the upper canopy.

"You say you know how it feels. But yet you won't put me out of my pain? I can't be like this forever; I'll go crazy." Jacob yelled against the rain. "Just put your hand around my throat, end it. Please, it's all I'm asking."

I was silent, reading his every thought. Jacob knew I wouldn't do it.

"Fine," he said weakly. "I found my option three."

Jacob took a few steps back and in a flash he phased. Wolf Jacob was on all fours in front of me.

_Thank you_

He thought, and I nodded.

"Be safe,"

Jacob huffed and ran away into the ever rainy woods; a low, pained howl escaped him. Jacob ran faster and faster, trying to get far enough away so I couldn't hear his thoughts. He didn't want to be weak anymore; he didn't want to feel the agony in his heart any longer. As he pushed his muscles harder, dashing himself through the forest, he let human Jacob disappear into the wind as Wolf Jacob took the controls.

**BPOV***

I wondered what Edward was doing. Images of him carrying Jacob's lifeless body deep into the woods somewhere filled my mind.

_He said they were just talking Bella. Do you really think Edward would lie to you?_

No, of course not; he never lies to me.

I had entirely emptied out the confines of my closet, sorting through my scarce amount of clothing. Alice is going to want to take me shopping when she gets back to Forks. Normally, I would have cringed at the thought of shopping, but I was too worried about Edward at the moment to care.

When I crept downstairs I found Charlie asleep on the couch. I instinctively looked up at the clock. It was a little after six. How long ago had Edward left?

_Relax Bella, everything is fine._

I went into the kitchen and found some crackers to distract myself with. I sat in one of the table chairs and let my mind wonder. I really did want to move in with Edward, but I questioned how Charlie would take it.

I watched the rain drip down the glass of the sliding door leading to the backyard. I thought back to when I first moved to Forks, I had hated the rain; now it just seemed like an inescapable part of life. I was pulled out of my reverie when I heard a light rap on the front door.

I swung the door open, ready to jump into Edward's cold arms. But it wasn't Edward who was staring back at me.

"Seth?"

"Hi, Bella."

His didn't sound like his usual happy self.

"Seth, what's wrong?"

"Bella, its Jacob. He's….gone."

I let out a little dejected sigh. I should have stopped Edward.

"He's dead." I breathed.

"No! Bella, of course he isn't dead!"

Seth's voice flew up about two octaves, scaring me half to death.

"Yeah, he is. Edward…in the woods."

"Bella, Jacob phased about ten minutes ago. Colin and Embry heard him say that he didn't want anything to do with the pack anymore; he wanted me to tell you that he said goodbye."

"Oh," Now I was really confused.

"Edward didn't even try to kill him. Jacob wanted him too, but Edward refused."

"Oh," I said again.

"Colin told me what Jake said to you. Bella it's not true, don't believe him it's just his emotions speaking." Seth put a dripping hand on my shoulder and smiled. I smiled back as wholeheartedly as I could muster up.

It was just his emotions; Yeah, his strong, angry emotions towards me.

"Where is he now?" I breathed.

"He took off north towards Vancouver. He might not be coming back."

"He really hates me. I never meant to drive him away."

"We know that, Bella. Nobody is blaming you." Seth smiled again.

I started to shiver and Seth shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"Well, we'll keep you updated. He can run, but we will still hear him."

"Thanks, sounds good."

Truth was though, I wasn't sure if I wanted the updates.

"Kay, well bye."

"Bye."

I saw Edward's Volvo pull into my driveway just as Seth was walking down the porch steps. They did some silent male hello signal and exchanged a worried look. Why would Edward be worried? Jacob was gone, no longer a threat. He should be happy.

"Hello darling," he cooed. His voice hit me like the most perfect song in the world. I glanced up at him, his crooked-half smile knocking the wind out of me. I reached up and intertwined my fingers in his soft, rain soaked hair.

"Oh Edward," I moaned. "Don't ever leave me."

"Never. You are mine forever."

"Mmmm."

"Even if you wanted to get rid of me, you couldn't."

"Is that right ?"

"Oh yes, I would stalk you."

"Stalk me? Then what would this be classified as?" I said playfully.

"This is more like, obsessive following."

"In other words: Stalking."

He laughed and kissed me. Kissing him was like an out of body experience.

As this little kiss-fest continued, I didn't notice that Charlie had woken up.

"Hmmpff." Charlie cleared his throat and Edward pulled away.

"Good evening, Charlie."

"Hello Edward."

"Well Bella, shall I leave you two to converse?"

Why was he being so formal?

"Uhm actually Edward, I was going to tell him our news."

I hoped Edward knew what I was talking about.

Of course he did, he's Edward.

"I think that is a great idea, Bella."

"Charlie," Edward addressed. "We have some amazing news."

"Take a seat dad," I said, leading my way into the living room.

My dad was wordless as he trailed behind us. I looked up at Edward, his expression was smug. He seemed to find something very funny.

I sat next to Edward on the couch, and my dad was across us in the arm chair.

"Okay Bella. What is is…"

"Don't worry dad, it's nothing too bad."

"Please don't tell me that you are pregnant. God damn Bella, I swear…"

"No! Dad! Relax."

"Oh, okay, good."

What if I was pregnant dad? I wanted to say, but I didn't.

"I have decided to move in with Edward. I'm 18 now and it's where I want to be."

Edward had his hand on my knee and was rubbing smooth circles into my jeans.

"…I-I don't know what to say. This is big, Bella."

"I'm sorry dad,"

"Are you sure about this? It's okay with Edward's parents?"

Well technically, Edward's_ parents _didn't really have much input, but I didn't mention that.

"Esme and Charlie would be delighted to have her, as would I."

My dad looked down at Edward with squinted eyes. I could only imagine what double meaning he found in Edward's words.

"Yeah, and I'm 100 percent sure dad. I love him."

Charlie let out a long sigh.

"Okay, I approve. But please, don't get pregnant until you are a little older. Please."

He wouldn't have to worry about that now…or ever. He didn't know that Edward was immortally infertile.

"Don't worry dad, it's not like that."

"Ha! Okay, right. Go ahead, it's not like I didn't expect this to happen."

"Ehh!" I squealed.

I got up and hugged Charlie; he patted my head.

"Be good my little girl."

"Of course dad."

"So when are you moving?"

"Ahh actually, I'm all packed."

He looked at me with one of those What-if-I-had-said-no glances.

"I'm not leaving until tomorrow though. Tonight is the last night that I am staying here."

It was for Charlie's sake, not mine that I was staying tonight.

We lay on my bed; Edward is staring at me intently.

"You're moving in me with." His voice was full of recognition.

"Yes, I am." I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to wake up next to Edward every morning.

His arms closed around me and he pulled me into his chest.

"Edward,"

"Yes Bella?"

"What happened with Jacob? Seth said he wanted you to kill him." It was something I couldn't picture- Jacob weak and pleading.

"Bella, it'll make you unhappy to talk about it."

"Edward," I shook my head. "Why do you think I'm so fragile? I'm not as breakable as you think."

He held me tighter.

"Because you silly girl, I've seen how delicate you truly are."

"I'm not hurting anymore, don't you understand?" I sat up and put both of my hands down on his chest. "He said what he needed to, and now it's done. The only thing I care about is you."

"You don't mean that. I'm not mad anymore."

He didn't understand what I was saying.

"Edward, we've all made mistakes. And, I feel bad that he left but, he doesn't mean anything to me anymore."

"He was your best friend, Bella."

"Yes, he _was_. But he made his feelings very clear and he knows how I feel."

Edward sighed. "Bella, he loved you. A lot."

"Are you actually sticking up for him?" My voice was clouded with disbelief. "Jacob is the last person I would ever expect you to be defending."

He laughed and sat up next to me, placing one arm around my shoulder.

"I'm as surprised as you are."

I leaned my head into his stone chest and inhaled. This is where I wanted to be for eternity. I slowly shut my eyes and looked deep into our forever.

**What an update. You know, I love writing when I'm in an angry rage. I write so much better when I'm intensely angry.**

**So I read chapter eleven and I realized that I need to proofread better. So, if you find any mistakes ever, then I'm sorry.**

**The next update will be in a few days.**

**PLEASE REVIEW. It helps me so much.**

**Okay guys, I hope you enjoyed it. As you probably have figured out, this is taking place between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Yes, there will be some Breaking Dawnish things coming up in future chapters. No, she's not going to get pregnant. If you are ever confused by anything let me know. That's why you're supposed to review.**

**Until next chapter,**

**Xoxo Leanne**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen  
**

I woke up with Edward next to me playing absent mindedly playing with a strand of my hair. His golden eyes were flaming, and it always it took my breath away.

I jumped out of bed with an optimistic expression, "moving day!"

Edward also got off the bed a placed a long cool arm around my shoulder.

"I'll have you know, Miss Swan, that I have been waiting for this day for a very long time."

I looked up at his fuming golden eyes.

"Me too," I said, stretching up onto tippy toes to kiss him.

"How'd you sleep, my love?" Edward said reaching for his blue t-shirt that was lying on the floor.

"Fine, you?" I asked playfully. He gave me a look and then buttoned his shirt.

"Charlie checked on us about a half dozen times I'll have you know."

"Damn Charlie, he knows we wouldn't be doing anything bad. I really wish he'd trust me."

Edward threw me a glance.

"What?" I said raising my eyebrow and putting my left hand on my hip.

"You don't even know the things he was conjuring up in his mind, actually maybe it's better you didn't know."

"Ew!" I giggled. "Does Charlie really think we'd do that..._here_?"

"He's your father, Bella. Don't take it too seriously. He was just doing his job."

I went over to him and rapped my arms around his chest.

"I guess after today, we'll never have to worry about anyone checking up on us, huh?"

Edward stiffened under my touch, no doubt hearing the double meaning I had implied.

He was such a baby! Did he really think he would hurt me when it came time for _that_? Of course he would-- Edward the forever pessimist would fight to keep me a virgin for the rest of eternity if he could.

Oh wait, I wasn't a virgin….

Suddenly I was in Jacob's small room, our breathing rough. Jacob's hands entangled in my hair as my forehead creased with sweat. I looked down at Jacob, his eyes shut and his mouth set in concentration.

My mind had been filled with so much--too much-- and this was the only way I could forget it all. I let Jacob run his lips over my neck, down onto my shoulders. His skin was too hot against mine and part of me-- the part of me that liked to interrupt at the wrong times-- yearned for the body that was pressed against me now to be as cold as ice.

"Bella?" Edward placed a hand on my forehead.

His wind chime voice pulling me back to the reality of my warm room.

"I'm fine, kind of zoned out." I ran a hand through my hair.

Edward grabbed my suitcase off the rocking chair in the corner and gestured towards me.

"Are you sure this is everything? It feels a bit light."

I rolled my eyes at him. Of course it would feel light to someone who could lift cars with his pinky finger.

"That's it. I did a double check and everything."

He nodded and slung the bag over his shoulder.

"Charlie made breakfast."

"Oh God." I sighed.

I eyed the jeans and flannel shirt on my dresser and Edward nodded.

"I'll be downstairs."

He left the room and I got dressed. I took one long glance around my room. Each corner, every inch, held a memory-good or bad.

I looked at the window, which held the most significance. I saw Edward jumping in every night after Charlie went to bed, and casually jumping out each morning. I saw Jacob scaling the side of the house, coming in to tell me he had a secret, urging me to remember the walk we took at First Beach so long ago.

I shuttered as I thought back to those misery filled, Edward-less days. In a way I was glad I was moving in with him, I needed to stop dwelling on the past and start creating our future.

_Our future_, I murmured the words happily to myself.

Charlie'd cooked pancakes. Okay well I think they were pancakes.

"How will you ever survive without my cooking?"

Charlie swirled around from the oven, a spatula in one hand a cookbook in the other.

"I guess I'll go back to pizza and doughnuts." He said, pushing out his lower lip.

"Aw, dad! Promise me you'll eat something green once in a while, I wouldn't want to go to jail for leaving you malnourished."

He smiled but there was something else there. I saw a hint of sadness. I got right out of my chair and gave him a hug. A very surprised Charlie dropped the spatula he wielded and hugged me back.

"I'm really going to miss you, Bells. It won't be the same without you."

"We'll be right down the road-sort of- and you know you can always come and visit. Plus, now you can bring home all the ladies you meet."

Charlie blushed and kissed my forehead.

"Call often." He urged.

"Of couse."

Charlie whipped off his shirt-which was covered with flour-and went over to Edward.

He looked him right in the eyes. "Please take good care of my little girl. Although a lot has happened, you have always kept her safe. I'm happy she is with you, Edward."

I gawked in amazement. Charlie had never said anything like this to Edward before.

Edward's eyes sparkled, and his expression turned soft. "That means a lot coming from you. I know I have caused quite a mess at times, but to hear you say that," Edward paused and smiled. "It makes me feel better. Thank you so much Charlie. She'll be in good hands."

"I always knew you were the right man for her." Charlie stared off and we were all silent.

I cleared my throat and Charlie turned around to face me.

"Well go! What are you still doing here!" Charlie smiled at me and we embraced again.

"Thank you dad. For everything."

Edward's house was quiet. There was no Alice prancing down the hallway or Rosalie fighting with Emmett. Just Edward and I. All alone.

He carried me in his arms through the doorway, my suitcase draped over his shoulder.

"Welcome home."

"Mmm, that sounds nice." I said looking up into his eyes.

In the same second I heard my bag thud to the floor and Edward's lips were crushing into mine. He cradled my face with his hands and I could feel the force of his kiss. He wasn't holding back as much as he usually did.

We both panted for breath and he placed a small kiss on the tip of my nose.

"I feel like I've gone about this all wrong, Bella. It's so backwards for me."

I crinkled my forehead in confusion.

"Backwards? We're nothing close to traditional, Edward."

He set me to my feet and took my hand.

"I've taken so much away from you, Isabella. I just wish I could have one last thing to strip away from you."

His wording confused me. I put my free hand on his cheek.

"What are you talking about? Anything you want, you can have."

Edward stared at me, his eyes a blaze. They were filled with deep longing.

"It's not something physical."

He already had me-heart, body, and soul. What else did he want?

"Anything," I repeated again.

A small smiled played at his lips, and he kneeled before me. My mind went blank, and I felt the air slowly leave my lungs.

"I want to take your last name from you; I want you to be a Cullen,"

My human mind refused to comprehend his words quick enough to form a coherent response to his logic. I let out a low gasp.

"Isabella Marie Swan," Edward was on one knee.

"You mean everything to me, and I never want to lose you. Will you be mine forever?" He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small, blue velvet box.

"Bella," he said, lifting the box's lid. Inside was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It sparkled in the dull light shining in through one of the window walls. Edward's eyes seemed to be sparkling too.

"Will you marry me?"

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, like when you fall off of something high up and the wind gets knocked out of you—but in a good way. I had no air to draw on, and I took one loud, audible gulp in.

I wasn't sure what to say so I just stood there, looking into his eyes. Edward wanted to marry me?

The voice in the back of my head screamed _**YES**_, and I decided that it might finally be time to take her advice.

A tear rolled down my ivory cheek, and I just nodded.

"Yes," I took another breath in as the tears really started to stream down. "Yes I will."

Edward slid the ring onto my third finger of my left hand. I stared as I watched him position it just right. Edward looked back up at me, and he glowed with delight.

"This is will it shall remain," he said kissing the ring, "forever."

And then we kissed. This kiss was stronger than before, more passionate. This kiss brought us up each stair, down the upstairs hallway, passed Carlisle's paintings. This kiss carried us to the big bed in the middle of Edward's room. This kiss took his shirt off, and threw it to the wooden floor. It let down my hair and stripped me to only my undershirt and jeans. This kiss left us both wanting more-- much more than Edward ever wanted to allow.

His hands left goosebumps as they trailed down my sensitive skin, his touch went deep down into my bones.

His lips never left my body, always somewhere on my skin. My eyes fluttered open and a laugh escaped my lips as his mouth pressed against my stomach.

"So sweet," he murmured to himself.

Edward got to my belly button, and then stopped-hesitant to go any further. I didn't want him to stop--ever.

"Please, Edward." I gasped.

He lingered, his chin just grazing the top button of my jeans.

"You won't hurt me," I assured.

Edward nodded, but brought his lips back to my throat.

"Not tonight. Not until after the wedding."

I looked at him with a disbelieving expression.

"You're strangely moral for a vampire, did you know that?"

"I just want to do things right. You must be my wife first."

Both of our eyes set on the ring at the same time. I guess we wouldn't have to wait too long.

And just like that, we were both back to reality. The shrill ringing of a phone pierced the room and Edward got it off of his dresser and put it up to his ear.

"Yes?" He said into the receiver.

Edward growled.

"Alice, stay out of this. Please."

There was a long pause and then he growled again.

"Here," Edward said, handing the phone to me. "Alice wants to talk to you."

I took a deep breath and said "hello?"

"BELLA BELLA BELLA! THIS IS SO EXCITING!"

How didn't I see this one coming?

"Jazz and I were out hunting and I got this vision and YOU HAVE TO LET ME DO THE WEDDING! PRETTY PLEASE!"

I sighed. I never wanted a big wedding.

"I don't want anything huge, Alice."

"THAT'S FINE!" I didn't understand why she insisted on shouting. "So can I do it?"

I thought it over for a second. Charlie and Renee would be delighted if I had a wedding instead of sneaking off to Vegas.

"…Okay,"

"YES! THANK YOU SO MUCH."

"Under some conditions though," I continued.

"Whatever it is Bella, I'll comply."

Edward was sitting at the end of the bed; he looked like he would explode from all the joy that was radiating off of him.

"No more than 200 hundred people. It has to be done at the house. And I get to help pick out the dress."

Alice's laugh peeled over the phone and she answered with a simple, "can do."

"Hmm so what about a date?" I asked.

"The sooner the better!" Alice squealed in delight.

"How about August 13th?" That gave us a good solid amount of time to work with.

"Yes, yes! Perfect! You won't have to do a thing, Bella! Leave it all to me."

"Great." I muttered sarcastically.

Alice prattled on and on for another good thirty minutes about bows and 'the perfect wedding flowers,' things that were of course foreign to me. And with Edward sitting beside me on the bed—his cool breath brushing across my cheek bone—I wasn't listening to anything she was saying.

"…Bella!" Alice yelled.

I was staring into Edward's eyes; he had put his hand under my chin so that I had to look at him. I was completely lost in him, and I liked the feeling.

I took the phone and pressed end. Of course Alice saw me do it though, and right before I snapped the phone shut I heard her mutter something about 'Edward and Bella and their ardent teenage love.'

Edward's words 'must be my wife first' echoed into my head. Suddenly, August 13th didn't seem as close as it had a few minutes ago.

"You hung up on my sister."

I nodded, and an amused smile came to his lips.

"I'm going to get a world of hell for that the next time I see her."

I placed my hand on his leg.

"She'll forget all about it."

Edward's smile faltered for a fraction of a second but then composed himself.

"Vampires never forget anything, Isabella."

I know, you all hate me. "Update next week" means in a few months. Won't happen again…hopefully

Sorry, I got busy—it happens.

So E&B are getting married, how delightful. I'm way to into the whole Robsten thing, so I couldn't help but think of them as I wrote this chapter.

Yeah, it's short. I just have been so busy. I missed writing though.

Next update? SOON. I swear this time.

**REVIEW** please my loves


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**JPOV~***

_Run faster, Jacob. Bella…. No no no. Come on Jacob, wolfy thoughts. Alright._

_Trees, meat, speed, fur. Bella…._

DAMMIT.

I left Forks one whole week ago and every thought, every touch; everything that I had hoped to fade away in this form was still probing into my mind as strong as ever.

So what was I supposed to do? I wasn't entirely sure.

Ignoring these feelings, these burning mental images, was almost as impossible as forgetting her scent. Her warm, delicious, Bellaish scent. NO. Stop.

God. How could one girl affect me so much?

I hated her. But I loved her.

I ran, the wind and rain zinging through my fur as the forest whizzed past me at full speed. I had barely eaten or slept. I didn't want to give the memories a fresh chance to fester, to totally infect my brain. When I ran, it was almost not as bad. Almost.

_Jake. Hey Jake I know you can hear me._

Seth. Great. What could he want? Oh yeah I know, to tell me more about the Edward-Bella love fest going on back home.

_Actually, yes. I'm sorry Jacob. But I thought it was best that you knew._

Ohhhh why did people feel the need to fill me in? Wait let me guess: They're pregnant!

I felt Seth mentally wince. It wasn't fair to take this out on him.

_It's alright Jacob, I understand._

The problem was: he didn't.

Everyone kept saying that. "Oh Jakey, it will all be okay."…"Don't worry, we understand."

NO YOU DON'T. No one understands. So STOP SAY_ING IT._

…_Maybe this isn't the best time. It's just that Edward wanted me to convey a message to you._

Of course he did, I thought back.

_Yeah soo. Uhm. Here it goes…_

Seth let his mind go, preserving Edward's words in perfect clarity.

_I wish I could be telling this to your face, Jacob, but it seems like Seth is the best I can do right now. Bella and I would like to announce that we are going to be wed on August 13__th__ of this year. Soon, yes I know, but we feel that having it soon will be best. You have been a humungous part of Bella's life, and she would very much like you to join us at our wedding, as would I. I do not, however, want you to feel obligated to come; it is your decision to make. But it would mean the world to her._

My throat swelled and I could feel the fire building up in me. I didn't know what to say.

The last thing I wanted right now was for Seth to be in my head.

I phased, my body exploding with a fiery force. It felt weird to be in my skin, and not my fur. I stood, naked, somewhere in the middle of the Canadian woods. I don't know why, but I started to run as fast as my feet would carry me. My body itched for my other form, but I just couldn't handle someone knowing all my thoughts right now.

How much more could I go through until I couldn't take it anymore? Physically, I was perfect. But in my mind, deep down in its spongy tissue, I was being pushed closer and closer to the edge of that cliff.

And I was bound to fall soon.

As I ran, I screamed, letting all of my thoughts drain out of me. I didn't want to think anymore, I didn't want to feel. My body tightened and I shook back into my furrier form, only too thankful that my mind was silent.

I wasn't going back for the wedding. I let Bella and Edward and Forks and life fall to the ground behind me. I was too young to hold all of this on my shoulders. What had I ever done to deserve any of this? I was innocent. I had only loved a girl, one stupid, selfish girl, and now I was living with it. I didn't ask for any of this. No girl is worth this pain. She's like that stupid little bunny with the drum. She just keeps hurting me, and hurting me, and hurting me. And it just keeps on going.

I can't do it forever.

And as I speed through the trees, I realized that for once since the whole time I've known Bella I am actually glad that she is not mine.

**BPOV~***

The wedding was only a few weeks away. When I tried to visualize myself in a white dress walking down the aisle I practically started to hyperventilate. I was too young.

"Oh Bella, but we're in love. That's all that matters." Edward had said when I had conveyed my nervous thoughts to Alice.

Love. A feeling I didn't think I would be feeling at the naive age of eighteen. But Edward was right, we were in love, and I knew that that could be enough.

Unfortunately, not everyone felt the way we did.

"WHAT? YOU'RE 18 ISABELLA."

Charlie's eyes burned into Edward's. He flailed his arms in the air dramatically and his face turned purple.

"Dad, I'm…we're ready."

Charlie laughed sarcastically and his eyes widened.

"Bella, you wan't an example of young love? Look at me and your mom for God sakes!"

I hate when he compared me and Edward to him and Renee.

"I'M NOT YOU." I stood up, and in the corner of my eye I started to see Edward stand up too.

"Bella, please, take a seat."

Charlie looked at Edward with his I'm-going-to-kill-you face.

", if I could only say one thing,"

Edward smiled warmly and Charlie's eyes bugged out of his head.

"I love your daughter more than anything in the whole entire world. Without her, I would be nothing. Bella is young, but the way I was raised has taught me to hold on to a good thing when it comes along,"

Edward smiled at him and even Charlie couldn't resist Edward's charm, he sat defeatedly into an armchair.

"She's one in a million, and I truly do love her. I want to make it official. So, Mr. Swan, do you give me your permission to marry your daughter?"

Charlie huffed and stood up. He rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Okay! You guys win. Marry her, Edward. But Bella,"

I looked up.

"You have to tell Renee. I want **nothing** to do with that."

I squeeled and stood up, jumping into Charlie's arms.

"Thanks so much dad!"

"Mhm."

I let the warm water rain over me as I vacantly stared at the tiled wall of the shower. I hated having alone time. Alone time meant that I had time to think.

The memory, still so strong in my brain, pricked against my skin. Big hands pulling at my thick hair and warm quick breath tickling my neck. _Jacob_ I moaned, biting my lip._ Bella _he breathed back. His lips pushed against mine, sweat rolled down the tip of my nose and onto his. The muscles in my stomach clenched, and I called out his name once more. His eyes rolled back and his mouth parted slightly. _I love you_ we both whispered into each other's mouths.

_Knock, knock, knock_

I jumped, and I felt like a kid that had just been caught doing something bad.

"Bella?" Edward called from the other side of the bathroom door.

I shut off the water and grabbed a towel from around the shower curtain.

"Come in."

Edward entered the bathroom and smiled tenderly at me.

The guilt set in.

"Sorry to have interrupted you Bella," He looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "Well, not too sorry actually. Do you realize how beautiful you are?"

I laughed.

"Yeah okay Edward."

He smiled again and sat himself up on the bathroom counter.

"Alice wanted me to tell you that all the invitations have been received and that everyone is coming."

I nodded.

"You came in here to tell me that?"

Edward shrugged.

"I really just wanted to see you."

I smiled.

"Oh Edward, such a charmer."

He got off the countertop and ghosted up to me.

"So you're going to be fresh now, hmm? We might have to do something about that."

I giggled as he pulled me into his arms.

"You wish Edward Cullen."

He looked down at the towel covering me and sighed.

"Soon you'll be my wife."

I bit my lip. His words made my stomach flutter, but in a good way. I rested my wet head against his chest.

"Yes, and soon you'll be my husband."

He squinted his eyes and looked down.

"Edward, what is it?"

He looked back at me.

"I told Jacob about the wedding."

Ugh, Jacob.

"And?"

Edward shook his head.

"I don't know what the result is. Seth told him, but Jacob didn't say anything back. Seth said he wasn't in a great mind frame when he told him."

"So, he's not coming?"

He took a breath in.

"I'm so sorry Bella, but my guess would be no."

I didn't know how that made me feel. I thought I was over it, but deep down, I still cared.

"Well that's fine," I said exasperated. "He's a big boy; he can do as he chooses."

I knew I was acting like a stubborn little child, but I didn't care. Edward could see that the conversation was over.

"Oh I forgot to tell you,"

I started to make my way for the bathroom door. When I opened it there was a short little figure in front of me.

"They're home."

Alice stuck her tongue out at Edward and then hugged me.

"Bella! WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO TALK ABOUT!"

"Yeah."

Alice gave Edward a disapproving look. I was happy to see here, but I wasn't in the mood anymore.

Alice sighed, "Oh Bella."

"I'm going to go get dressed."

Both of them nodded and I went out into the hallway. I was halfway to Edward's room when I heard Emmett.

"Bella!" He boomed.

Great. I'm practically naked. I turned around and waved awkwardly. Emmett laughed and Rosalie came up behind him.

"Hello Bella." She smiled.

"Uhh Hi, Rosalie."

I hurried into his room and shut the door. I swung open the doors to the over stocked closet and found my section of it. I noticed that Alice had put some new outfits in it for me. A long white garment bag hung in the back. I went over and unzipped it. Inside was the prettiest dress I had ever seen. It was a long, silky satin wedding dress. I wanted to pull it out further, but I was afraid I would ruin it.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

Alice appeared behind me and took the bag from me.

"Yes, Alice. It's dazzling."

Alice smiled and then pulled the dress delicately from the bag. The satin and sheer bottom flowed to the ground elegantly.

"Are those….diamonds?"

I reached out and touched the little jewels that adorned the seam right where the top met the lacy, billowy bottom.

"Of course they are, Bella. Do you honestly think I would put you in some cheap knock off?"

I placed my right hand on my chest dramatically and Alice shook her head.

"Thank you so much, Alice. It's absolutely perfect."

I reached out and hugged her.

"Who's the best almost-sister-in-law in the world?"

"You, of course!"

We both stared at the fancy creation for a moment. I imagined how I would look in it.

Alice read my mind. "Would you like to try it on?"

I bit my lip. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see myself in a wedding dress. But my curiosity bubbled over, and I nodded.

I let my towel breeze to the wood floor and I carefully stepped into my dress. Alice zipped it up and I felt the lace conform to my body perfectly.

"So…how do I look?"

Alice put one hand over my eyes and pushed me to the full length mirror that was hanging on the back of the closet door.

"You tell me," she said, uncovering my eyes.

Before me stood someone I didn't know. Her dark eyes held the emotions of surprise and disbelief. But above all, she was stunning.

I was frozen in the mirror. I didn't look like me. I wanted to reach out and touch my image, just to make sure it was real.

"Your verdict?" Alice said standing behind me in my reflection.

My bottom lip quivered and I felt the tears spill down my cheeks.

I turned around and looked into her eyes.

"I've no words for this. Alice," I cried, "thank you."

She patted me on the back. "Oh Bella, you silly emotional girl, you're very welcome."

I straightened myself and we both looked back into the mirror.

"I'm ready, Alice. I truly know I am."

She nodded. "I always knew you were."

"I'm going to be a Cullen in only two weeks."

Alice laughed. "You know, once you're a Cullen, you're a Cullen for life…sort of."

We both burst into laughter.

"I think you'll make a great vampire, Bella."

I blinked at my image. "I hope so, Alice."

**So, yeah, you can kill me now. I know, this took a while. BUT REVIEW:DD**

**But it's summer! YAY! So, I can actually write whenever I feel like it:D**

**Missed you guys!**

**As always, REVIEW!**

**Update soon.**

**Xxxx Lea**


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen**

**JPOV~***

The stupid wedding was tomorrow night. I swore to myself that I was done with her, and him, and all of this. But she was all I could think about.

I knew he was probably holding her right now, touching her with his icy fingers. And tomorrow night, he'd be touching places I had been.

I shivered.

That stupid blood sucker was going to be inside her, doing stuff to her. Ehh. I cringed.

I'm constantly contradicting myself. I don't want her, but then I do. I wish I could just kill myself already.

So what was I going to do? I must decide.

I stopped and looked around. I wasn't sure how long it would take me to get home. I let the forest blur by me. World war three could have been happening around me, and I wouldn't have noticed. I was stuck in my own mind, imagining every possible scenario. Bella was probably blushing, smiling, and Edward was probably holding her, putting his stupid, blood-sucking lips all over her.

She couldn't marry him. I don't care if she hated me, but I wouldn't let her do it. Bella was too pure, to beautifully divine to be immortal. She wouldn't be the same when her eyes glowed red and her skin shined in the light. I wanted her to stumble when she walked down the stairs and her cheeks to turn pink when you brushed your hand against them. She wouldn't be Bella Swan anymore. She would just be another one of them.

I needed Bella to see how much she truly loves me before it was too late.

I smiled the best I could in my wolf form and pushed myself faster towards Forks.

**BPOV~***

I lay strewn out across Edward's bed, my hair going in every direction. The light, cool air of his shallow breathing tickling its way across the exposed flesh on my neck in a way that made my spin tingle.

"Don't go," I whispered into his ear. I pressed my cheek against it.

"Never," he swore.

Edward brought his face back to mine, slightly biting at my bottom lip. I giggled whole-heartedly.

"You know any moment someone is going to barge in here and take you away from me."

Edward nipped at my collar bone.

"I won't let them take me, who needs a stupid bachelor party anyways? I couldn't be more ecstatic to shed my single status," Edward joked.

"You know," I said through heavy breaths, "once you marry me, you can't get rid of me."

I felt Edward's lips form a smile as they were pressed to mine. "That's all I ever wanted, Isabella. Just you and me forever," Edward paused, "and my family of always intrusive vampires."

Emmett pushed open the bedroom doors and looked at Edward and I. He raised his eyebrow.

"What's this now? I thought the honeymoon is supposed to be tomorrow night. A little confused are we?" Emmett laughed.

"Shut up, Emmett." Edward breathed into my mouth.

"Stop kissing her and LET'S FREAKING GO."

Edward sighed noisily and I saw Jasper, all tall, blonde and gorgeous appear behind Emmett.

"Is this really necessary?" Edward whined.

"C'mon! It's your party and we're not going to be late!" Emmett winked at me.

I pushed Edward off and sat up.

"You're not taking him to a strip club are you?" I shouted, shaking my head.

"Of course not, Bella." Edward chuckled. But Emmett just continued to laugh.

"Sorry Bella," Emmett added, "but this is Edward's last night as a single man, and we're not going to waste it."

Emmett jumped from the doorway onto the end of the bed and grabbed Edward by the arm.

"COME ON, LETS GO."

Edward threw and apologetic look in my direction, and I amusedly smiled, dismissing them with a wave. Emmett practically dragged him out the door.

Jasper turned towards me and smiled. "Don't worry Bella. We're only going hunting. We'll have him back just in time to say the 'I do's'."

"Thanks Jasper, that makes me feel so much better." I said sarcastically.

Jasper closed the door behind him, and the room went dark. The bed sheets felt empty and depressing without Edward beside me.

Ten minutes past and I was in my truck on my way to Charlie's.

"Bella?" he squinted as I stepped in the door.

"Hi dad," I said taking a deep breath in.

"Bella," he breathed in recognition. "I've missed ya kiddo."

I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned on the doorframe.

"Yeah, I've missed you too, dad."

I nodded my head awkwardly.

"Yeah so uhm, the wedding's tomorrow. Why are you here…?"

We both shifted our weight at the same time.

"Uhm Edward went out with Emmett and Jasper, sort of like a bachelor's party thing." I shrugged, "I decided that it may be nice to spend my last night as a Swan in my own bed."

Charlie smiled at me and shook his head in disbelief.

"I still cannot believe you're getting married, Bells. You're still my little girl with the pigtails and baby fat."

I rolled my eyes. "Jeeze dad, thanks." We both laughed.

I bit my lip and nodded. I turned around, making for the stairs.

"Oh, Bella?" Charlie called.

He looked at me with apologetic eyes. "Uh, Jacob's been calling. A lot."

I felt all the blood drain from my face.

"Oh."

"I think he really wants to see you. He kept mentioning something about 'before it's too late.' I swear Bella, the kid is in love with you."

Great, this is just what I needed on my wedding night.

I turned around again and continued my decent to the stairs.

"Bella, after tonight you're an adult. You'll be a married, grown woman. Just give Jacob some piece of mind, please."

I sighed and looked down at the ground while shaking my head.

"Fine, yeah, I guess you're right."

I flew out the front door and got in my truck. I didn't want to admit it, but Charlie was right. This was my one last night to make things right between us. Tomorrow I would be a Cullen, and all the responsibilities I held as Isabella Swan will fade away.

Most of the lights at Jacob's house were off, and I wondered if he was even home.

I hopped out of my truck and timidly knocked on his front door. I felt like a little kid asking if someone could come out and play.

I saw the hall light flip on, and there he was, almost as tall as the doorway, staring down at me.

"Hi Jake," I laughed. "It's so good to see you."

Jacob lifted his eyebrow quizzically, but waved me in. He still hadn't said anything.

"Uh, Charlie said you've been calling?"

He looked down at the ground. "Yeah, I have."

I tried to angle my head so that I could look into his eyes.

"Sorry about not answering them, I've been…busy. Wedding plans you know?"

He finally looked up at me.

"You moved in with Cullen." He didn't state it like a question.

I awkwardly scratched my neck and exhaled loudly.

"Yep. I just figured that there was no point in waiting."

Jacob didn't say anything; instead he just started walking down the hallway, heading into his room.

He turned around to face me in the doorway.

"Why did you come over, Bella?"

I didn't understand. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"You called me, you wanted to see me, you-"

He cut me off.

"You shouldn't have come here, Bella." He took a step closer to me. "I'm not….safe."

I chuckled. "Oh Jacob, you sound just like Edward now." I placed my hand on his shoulder but he hit it away.

"I'm not the same person you think I am. I've changed."

I walked closer and placed my hand delicately on his cheek.

"No Jacob, things have changed. But, I came here to make it work. We can all be happy. I won't be so different after the wedding, just a bit colder is all."

Jacob didn't seem to think I was funny. His jaw was set tight, and his hands were in fists.

"Come to the wedding tomorrow," my voice trailed off into a whisper. Jacob was shaking his head no.

"You're my best man," I said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

Jacob pulled me into what seemed to be a hug, but then something changed. He was holding onto me too tight, his hands were clamping down on my shoulders.

"Let go of me!" I cried, confusion on my face.

Jacob pinned me to the wall, his hot breath making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"You can't do this, Bella!" He yelled, his grip on my arm tightening. "I won't let you become a monster."

I didn't know what to say. I was locked into his blazing gaze, shaking.

Jacob's jaw clenched and he let go of my arm. I started panting, gasping in the air; I tried to look for a way to leave.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on the side of my head.

Jacob had a fistful of my hair wrapped around his hand; he was tugging on it, making my head tilt towards his.

He slowly lowered his lips to my ear, his breathing quieted. "You think you're in love, that you and him are going to live happily ever after in some magical world. But Bella, you have no idea what love is," He licked his lips and I took another gulp in. "I've suffered for you," he sneered, digging his fingers into my shoulder. "I've tortured myself since the day you got to Forks. The only thing keeping my heart beating is you," he paused, an ironic smile played at his lips. "So what happens when your heart stops? When his teeth cut through your skin, and veins, and muscles like a hot knife through butter? "He paused again, looking off into the distance contemplatively. "Well I guess I'll have nothing to live for, just like usual."

I tried to squirm out of his grasp, but he shook his head.

Jacob threw me onto the floor, my backside smashing into his wood floors. He looked down at me with a wicked smile.

"You've destroyed everything Isabella Swan, sucked up my world like a vacuum. " Jacob was yelling, piercingly loud.

He crouched besides me and I flinched away from his warm touch. Jacob cupped my cheeks so that I had to look at him. I stopped breathing, keeping myself completely still.

"Bella, you throw around the word love like it's nothing; like you know what it means, when you don't. I laid on that bed in sheer agony too many times for you and you think I'm just going to give up without getting out what I put in?" Jacob whispered through a tight jaw, fire in his eyes.

He moved his hands to the collar of my flannel; he let his fingers linger on the top button, then slowly, he moved his hand to my cheek again. His knuckles gently skimmed down the skin on my cheek bone.

"Four months, that was all you had to endure when he left. So why are you sentencing me to a forever of that, Isabella?"

I didn't answer.

"I hate you, so much," he condemned. "But there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

He moved both of his hands to the front of my shirt, letting my head hit the floor.

Jacob chuckled. "Pain is love, Isabella. " He said as he ripped my shirt open.

I covered my ears; the last sound I heard was the busted buttons hitting the floor.

**Oh poor Bella. Don't worry, Edward will be taking care of things soon.**

**REVIEW! Thank you guys**

**Xxx Leanne**


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